-

•SfSMjtf!*'

V wuVv

/ • /

CC/<. -/<- <4*_ •<

W* ,

- --- c

<•

c< •

f » *

Ct- <- l

t <

1 <-

C «

c <^ <

c</c

< S 5

*- -£!

< * «

<:«!

v»

«r «

-

C OKC

-•

< .«.

cC (

Uliiitt- LibKAKI

y

•

HISTORY OF NEW YORK,

riu Beginning of tlic To II IF. END OF THE DUTCH DYNASTY;

I HI «>\i.v At TIIKNTIC HISTORY OF THE TIMES THAT EVER HATH IIKKN PUBLISHED.

BY DIEDRICH KNICKERBOCKKK.

A NEW EDITION.

LON DON : I'KINTKI) Foil THOMAS TF.CCi. 7,{, ( HEAPSIDE;

1 I < . ' • AND C O. , U U 11 L I N ; K. (i K I K I I N ANDCO., OLASOOW ALSO, J. AMI -. A. I I. (. I. , MUM. 1 \Mi IIDIiAKT TOWN.

M IM i l X X X I X.

LONDON : illNTF-US, I

KNICKERBOCKER'S

HISTORY OF NEW YORK,

COXTIIHIMQ,

AMOHG MANY SURPRISING AKD CURIOUS MATTERS,

THE I Nl TPERABl-K PONDKRISGS OF WALTER THE DOUBTER;

THE DISASTROUS PROJECTS OP WILLIAM THE TESTY;

«KD

THE CHIVALROUS ACHIEVEMENTS OP PETER THE HEADSTRONG; Till: THREE BOTCH GOVERNOR* OF MEW AMSTERDAM.

Be toaarfjeiD Die in Duistcr lag,

Bit komt met blaarfyeiD aan Den Dag.

ACCOUNT OF THE AUTHOR.

IT was some time, if I recollect right, in the early part of the full of 1808, that a stranger applied for lodgings at tint Independent Columbian Hotel in Mulberry-street, of which I am landlord. He was a small, brisk-looking old gentleman, dressed in a rusty black coat, a pair of olive M-!\ct breeches, and a small cocked hat. He had a few grey hairs plaited and clubbed behind, and his beard 1 1 < > be of some eight-and-forty hours' growth. The only piece of finery which he wore about him was a bright pair of square silver shoe-buckles : and all his baggage was contained in a pair of saddle-bags, which he carried under his arm. His whole appearance was something out of the common run; and my wife, who is a very shrewd body, at once set him down for some eminent count r\ schoolmaster.

As the Independent Columbian Hotel is a very small house, I was a little puzzled at first where to put him; but my wife, who seemed taken with his looks, would needs put liiui in her l>e*t chamber, which is genteelly sot otl with the [in. files of the whole family, done in black, by tlnKf two great painters, Jarvis and Wood; and com- mands a very plea-ant view of the new grounds on tin- foiled, together with the rear of the Poor-House and Bridewell, and the full front of the Hospital; so that it i< the cheerful!''.-! room in the whole house.

During the whole time that he stayed with us, we found

VI ACCOUNT OF THE AUTHOR.

him a very worthy good sort of an old gentleman, though a little queer in his ways. He would keep in his room for days together; and if any of the children cried, or made a noise about his door, he would bounce out in a great passion, with his hands full of papers, and say some- thing about " deranging his ideas;" which made my wife believe sometimes that he was not altogether compos. Indeed, there .was more than one reason to make her think so, for his room was always covered with scraps of paper and old mouldy books, lying about at sixes and sevens, which he never would let any body touch; for he said he had laid them all away in their proper places, so that he might know where to find them; though, for that matter, he was half his time worrying about the house in search of some book or writing which he had carefully put out of the way. I shall never forget what a pother he once made, because my wife cleaned out his room when his back was turned, and put every thing to rights; for he swore he would never be able to get his papers in order again in a twelvemonth. Upon this my wife ven- tured to ask him, what he did with so many books and papers ? and he told her, that he was " seeking for im- mortality;" which made her think, more than ever, that the poor old gentleman's head was a little cracked.

He was a very inquisitive body, and, when not in his room, was continually poking about town, hearing all the news, ajid prying into everything that was going on : this was particularly the case about election time, when he did nothing but bustle about from poll to poll, attending all ward meetings and committee rooms; though I could never find that he took part with either side of the ques- tion. On the contrary, he would come home and rail at both parties with great wrath; and plainly proved one day, to the satisfaction of my wife, and three old ladies who M ere drinking tea with her, that the two parties were like

\n or\ : or THI: u THOR. vn

t\vu n>irii»-j. r.u'h tugging at a skirt of the nation; and that in the cud they would tear the very coat off its back, and • •xji'i.i- it- naked iie-;«. Indeed, he was an oracle among the neighbours, who would collect around to hear him talk of .-in afternoon, as he smoked his pipe on the bench before the door; and I really believe he would have brought

; ho whole neighbourhood to his own side of the ques- tion, if they could ever have found out what it was.

He was very much given to argue, or, as he called it, philosophise, about the most trifling matter; and, to do him justice, I never knew anybody that was a match for him,

;'t it was a grave-looking gentleman who called now and then to see him, and often posed him in an argument. But this is nothing surprising, as I have since found out thi- Mranjrer is the city librarian; and, of course, must be a man of great learning : and I have my doubts, if he had not some hand in the following history.

As our lodger had been a long time with us, and we had never received any pay, my wife began to be some- w hat uneasy, and curious to find out who and what he was. She accordingly made bold to put the question to In-; friend, the librarian, who replied, in his dry way, that he was one of the literati; which she supposed to mean some new party in politics. I scorn to push a lodger for his pay, so I let day after day pass on without dunning •1 gentleman fora farthing: but my wife, who always

- these matters on herself, and is, as I said, a shrewd kind of a woman, at last got out of patience, and hinted, that plie thought it high time " some people should have a sight <»f «ome people's money." To which the old gentleman replied, in a miirhty touchy manner, that she need not make herself uneasy, for that he had a treasure there (pointing to his saddle-ha;:*) worth her whole house put toji-tli.-r. Tlii- \\.i- the oidy an-\\rr we eonhi

r'l-oin him; ami a* my wile, by some of those odd

Vlll ACCOUNT OF THE AUTHOR.

ways in which women find out every thing, learnt that he was of very great connexions, being related to the Knickerbockers of Scaghtikoke, and cousin-german to the congress-man of that name, she did not like to treat him uncivilly. What is more, she even offered, merely by way of making things easy, to let him live scot-free, if he would teach the children their letters; and to try her best and get the neighbours to send their children also : but the old gentleman took it in such dudgeon, and seemed so affronted at being taken for a schoolmaster, that she never dared speak on the subject again.

About two months ago, he went out of a morning, with a bundle in his hand, and has never been heard of since. All kinds of inquiries were made after him, but in vain. I wrote to his relations at Scaghtikoke, but they sent for answer, that he had not been there since the year before last, when he had a great dispute with the congress-man, about politics, and left the place in a huff, and they had neither heard nor seen any thing of him from that time to this. I must own I felt very much worried about the poor old gentleman; for I thought something bad must have happened to him, that he should be missing so long, and never return to pay his bill. I therefore advertised him in the newspapers; and, though my melancholy ad- vertisement was published by several humane printers, yet I have never been able to learn anything satisfactory about him.

My wife now said it was high time to take care of ourselves, and see if he had left any thing behind in his room, that would pay us for his board and lodging. We found nothing, however, but some old books and musty writings, and his pair of saddle-bags; which being opened in presence of the librarian, contained only a few articles of worn-out clothes, and a large bundle of blotted paper. On looking over this, the librarian told us, he had no

\f < 01 N 1 01 111). U I 110K. l\

<ioultt it \va^ tin- treasure which the old gentleman had

<poke aliont, as it proved to be a most excellent and

faithful HISTORY OF NEW YORK, which he advised us by

all means to publish: assuring us that it would be -o

'y liought up by a discerning public, that he hud no

doubt it would be enough to pay our arrears ten times

over. Upon this we got a very learned schoolmaster, who

:cs our children, to prepare it for the press, which he

• iiir.'ly has done; and has, moreover, added to it a

iiiiinlier of notes of his own; and an engravingof the city,

as it was at the time Mr. Knickerbocker writes about.

This, therefore, is a true statement of my reasons for having this work printed, without waiting for the consent of the author: and I here declare, that if he ever returns (though I much fear some unhappy accident has befallen him,) I stand ready to account with him like a true and honest man. \\ hich is all at present —

From the publir'> humble servant.

v 11 HANDASIDI .

.1 ( n/IDII/linit lloti'l.

1 UK foregoing account of the author was prefixed to the

• dition of this work. Shortly after its publication. ,\

letter was received from him, by Mr. Handaside, dated

at a small Dutch village on the banks of the HinUon.

whither he had travelled for the purpose of inspei I'UILT

rertain ancient records. As this was one of those few and

happy villages, into which newspapers never find their

it U not a matter of surprise that Mr. Knickerbocker

ohoiild ne\erli;ive -<-en the niinierou- advertisements that

made coiK-erninu' liim: and that he should le.irn of

the pulilication of hi- lii-iory \<\ men- aceident.

X ACCOUNT OF THE AUTHOR.

He expressed much concern at its premature appear- ance, as thereby he was prevented from making several important corrections and alterations: as well as from profiting by many curious hints which he had collected during his travels along the shores of the Tappan Sea, and his sojourn at Haverstraw and Esopus.

Finding that there was no longer any immediate neces- sity for his return to New York, he extended his journey up to the residence of his relations at Scaghtikoke. On his way thither he stopped for some days at Albany, for which city he is known to have entertained a great partiality. He found it, however, considerably altered, and was much concerned at the inroads and improvements which the Yankees were making, and the consequent decline of the good old Dutch manners. Indeed, he was informed that these intruders were making sad innovations in all parts of the. state; where they had given great trouble and vex- ation to the regular Dutch settlers, by the introduction of turnpike-gates and country school-houses. It is said also, that Mr. Knickerbocker shook his head sorrowfully at noticing the gradual decay of the great Vander Heyden palace; but was highly indignant at finding that the ancient Dutch church, which stood in the mi'ddle of the street, had been pulled down since his last visit.

The fame of Mr. Knickerbocker's History having reached even to Albany, he received much flattering attention from its worthy burghers; some of whom, however, pointed out two or three very great errors he had fallen into, particularly that of suspending a lump of sugar over the Albany tea-tables, which, they assured him, had been discontinued for some years past. Several fami- lies, moreover, were somewhat piqued that their ancestors had not been mentioned in his work, and showed great jealousy of their neighbours who had been thus distin- guished ; while the latter, it must be confessed, plumed

ACCOUNT OF THK AUTHOR. \1

themselves vastly thereupon ; considering these recordings in the liirht of letters-patent of nobility, establishing their claims to ancestry : which in this republican country, is a matter of no little solicitude and vain-glory.

It is also said, thut he enjoyed high favour and counte- nance from tlu> governor, who once asked him to dinner, and was seen two or three times to shake hands with him when they met in the street; which certainly was going great lengths, considering that they differed in politics. Indeed, certain of the governor's confidential friends, to whom he could venture to speak his mind freely on snch matters, have assured us that he privately entertained a considerable good-will for our author : nay, he even once went so far as to declare, and that openly too, and at his own table, just after dinner, that " Knickerbocker was a well-meaning sort of an old gentleman, and no fool." From all which many have been led to suppose, that, had our author been of different politics, and written for the newspapers instead of wasting his talents on histories, he might have risen to some pos^t of honour and profit : perad\entiiri' to be a notary-public, or even a justice in the ten pound court.

HcM<lr~ the honours and civilities already mentioned, he was much caressed by the literati of Albany; parti- cularly Mr. John Cook, who entertained him very hospi- taMy at his circulating library and reading-room, where tliev used to drink Spa water, and talk about the ancients. He found Mr. Cook a man afler his own heart; of great literary research, and a curious collector of books. At parting, the latter, in testimony of friendship, made him a present of the t\\o oldest works in his collection ; which were, the earliest edition of the Heidelburg CatechUm. and Adrian Vander Donck's famous account of the New Netherlands t,\ the last of which Mr. Knickerbocker profited greatly in this his second edition.

Xll ACCOUNT OF THE AUTHOR.

Having passed some time very agreeably at Albany, our author proceeded to Scaghtikoke; where, it is but justice to say, he was received with open arms, and treated with wonderful lovingkindness. He was much looked up to by the family, being the first historian of the name; and was considered almost as great a man as his cousin the congress-man; with whom, by the by, he became per- fectly reconciled, and contracted a strong friendship.

In spite, however, of the kindness of his relations, and their great attention to his comforts, the old gentleman soon became restless and discontented. His history being published, he had no longer any business to occupy his thoughts, or any scheme to excite his hopes and anticipa- tions. This, to a busy mind like his, was a truly deplo- rable situation; and, had he not been a man of inflexible morals and regular habits, there would have been great danger of his taking to politics or drinking; both which pernicious vices we daily see men driven to by mere spleen and idleness.

It is true, he sometimes employed himself in preparing a second edition of his History, wherein he endeavoured to correct and improve many passages with which he was dissatisfied, and to rectify some mistakes that had crept into it; for he was particularly anxious that his work should be noted for its authenticity; which, indeed, is the very life and soul of history. But the glow of composition had departed; he had to leave many places untouched, which he would fain have altered; and even where he did make alterations, he seemed always in doubt whether they were for the better or the worse.

After a residence of some time at Scaghtikoke, he began to feel a strong desire to return to New York, which he ever regarded with the warmest affection ; not merely because it was his native city, but because he really con- sidered it the very best city in the whole world. On his

ACCOl'NT OF THK AUTHOR. XIII

return he entered into the full enjoyment of the advan- of a literary reputation. He was continually impor- tuned t.> write advertisements, petitions, hand-bills, and productions of similar import; and, although he never meddled with tin- public papers, yet had he the credit of writiiii: innumerable essays, and smart things, that appeared on all subjects, and all sides of the question; in all which he was clearly detected "by his style."

H<- contracted, moreover, a considerable debt at thepost- oHice, in consequence of the numerous letters he received from authors and printers, soliciting his subscription; lie was applied to by every charitable society for yearly donation-;, which he gave very cheerfully, considering tin--'- apji'.:-' ni >ns as so many compliments. He was once invited to a great corporation dinner; and was even twice summoned to attend as a juryman at the court of quarter sessions. Indeed, so renowned did he become, that he could no longer pry about, as formerly, in all holes and corners of the city, according to the bent of his humour, unnoticed and uninterrupted ; but several times when he • •••ii *annterin'.r the streets, on his usual rambles of i, ei;nipp.'d with his cane and cocked hat, the little !>n\s at play have been known to cry, "there goes Diedrich!" at which the old gentleman seemed not a little pleased, looking upon these salutations in the light of the praises of posterity.

In a word, if we take into consideration all these various honours and di-tiuctions, together with an exuberant eulo- gium pas-ed on him in the Portfolio (with which, we are told, the old jL'ciiileinan was so much overpowered, that lie was sick for two or three days,) it must be confessed that few authors liave ever lived to receive such illus- triou.- rewaicK, or have so completely enjoyed in advane.- their own iininortalil v.

•••r his return from Scaghtikoke, Mr. Knickerbocker

XIV ACCOUNT OF THE AUTHOR.

took up his residence at a little rural retreat, which the Stuyvesants had granted him on the .family domain, in gratitude for his honourable mention of their ancestors. It was pleasantly situated on the borders of one of the salt marshes beyond Corlear's Hook ; subject, indeed, to be occasionally overflowed, and much infested, in the summer time, with musquitoes : but otherwise very agreeable, producing abundant crops of salt-grass and bulrushes.

Here, we are sorry to say, the good old gentleman fell dangerously ill of a fever, occasioned by the neighbouring- marshes. When he found his end approaching, he dis- posed of his worldly affairs, leaving the bulk of his for- tune to the New York Historical Society ; his Heidelburg Catechism, and Vander Donck's work to the City Library ; and his saddle-bags to Mr. Handaside. He forgave all his enemies; that is to say, all that bore any enmity towards him; for as to himself, he declared he died in good will to all the world. And, after dictating several kind messages to his relations at Scaghtikoke, as well as to certain of our most substantial Dutch citizens, he ex- pired in the arms of his friend the librarian.

His remains were interred, according to his own request, in St. Mark's Churchyard, close by the bones of his favourite hero, Peter Stuyvesant ; and it is rumoured that the Historical Society have it in mind to erect a wooden monument to his memory, in the Bowling-green.

TO THE PUBLIC.

" To rescue from oblivion the memory of former inci- antl to render a just tribute of renown to the many and wonderful transactions of our Dutch proge- nitors, Dicdrich Knickerbocker, native of the city of New York, produces this historical essay."* Like the great r of History whose words I have just quoted, 1 treat of times long past, over which the twilight of uncertainty had already thrown its shadows, and the of forgetfulness was about to descend for ever. With great solicitude did I long behold the early history of this viMieruMe and ancient city gradually slipping from • •iir irrasp, trembling on the lips of narrative old age, and day by day dropping piecemeal into the tomb. In a little labile, thought I, and those reverend Dutch burghers, who serve as the tottering monuments of good old times, will l>e gathered to their fathers ; their children, engrossed I iy the empty pleasures or insignificant transactions of the present age, will neglect to treasure up the recollec- tion- of the pa-t, and posterity shall search in vain for memorial-; of the days of the Patriarchs. The origin of ;y will be buried in eternal oblivion, and even the ii imi-s iiini adi;. I \\ outer Van Twiller, William

• Bi-loc's Herodotus.

XVI PREFACE.

Kieft, and Peter Stuyvesant, be enveloped in doubt and fiction, like those of Romulus and Kemus, of Charlemagne, King Arthur, Rinaldo, and Godfrey of Boulogne.

Determined, therefore, to avert if possible this threat- ened misfortune, I industriously set myself to work, to gather together all the fragments of our ancient history which still existed, and, like tny revered prototype, Herodotus, where no written records could be found, have endeavoured to continue the chain of history by well au- thenticated traditions.

In this arduous undertaking, which has been the sole business of a long and solitary life, it is incredible the number of learned authors I have consulted ; and all to but little purpose. Strange as it may seem, though such multitudes of excellent works have been written about this country, there are none extant which give any full and satisfactory account of the early history of New York, or of its three first Dutch governors. I have, however, gained much valuable and curious matter from an elabo- rate manuscript written in exceeding pure and classic Low Dutch, excepting a few errors in orthography, which was found in the archives of the Stuyvesant family. Many legends, letters, and other documents, have I likewise gleaned in my researches among the family chests and lumber garrets of our respectable Dutch citizens : and I have gathered a host of well-authenticated traditions from divers excellent old ladies of my acquaintance, who re- quested that their names might not be mentioned. Nor must I neglect to acknowledge how greatly I have been assisted by that admirable and praiseworthy institution, the NEW YORK HISTORICAL SOCIETY, to which I here publicly return my sincere acknowledgments.

In the conduct of this inestimable work I have adopted no individual model, but on the contrary have simply con- tented myself with combining and concentrating the ex-

PREFACE. XV11

rcllonces of the most approved ancient historians. Like Xenophon, I have maintained the utmost impartiality, and the -tiicte-t adherence to truth throughout my history. I ha\e enriched it, after the manner of Sallust, with various characters of ancient worthies, drawn at full length and faithfully coli>ured. I have seasoned it with profound poli- tical speculation?, like Thucydides; sweetened it with the graces of sentiment, like Tacitus ; and infused into the whole, the dignity, the grandeur, and magnificence of Livy.

I am aware that I shall incur the censure of numerous learned and judicious critics, for indulging too fre- quently in the bold excursive manner of my favourite llcmdotus. And, to be candid, I have found it impossible alway- to n--i-t the allurements of those pleasing episodes which, like flowery banks and fragrant bowers, beset the dusty road of the historian, and entice him to turn aside and refresh himself from his wayfaring. But I trust it will be found that I have always resumed my staff, and addressed myself to my weary journey with renovated spirits ; so that both my readers and myself have been .«-d by the relaxation.

Indeed, though it has been my constant wish and uniform endeavour to rival Polybius himself, in observing the n>(|ni>ite unity of History, yet the loose and uncon- 1 manner in \vhich many of the facts herein recorded have come to hand, rendered such an attempt extremely ditlienlt. This difficulty was likewise increased by one of the grand objects contemplated in my work, which was to the ii-<> of sundry customs and institutions in this l>e>t i>l < hies, and to compare them when in the germ of infancy with what they are in .the present old age of knowledge and improvement.

Hut the chief merit on which I value myself, and found my hope, tor future regard, is that faithful veracity with which I have compiled this invaluable little work; care-

XV111 PREFACE.

fully winnowing away the chaff of hypothesis, and discarding the tares of fable, which are too apt to spring up and choke the seeds of truth and wholesome knowledge. Had I been anxious to captivate the superficial throng, who skim like swallows over the surface of literature ; or had I been anxious to "commend my writings to the pam- pered palates of literary epicures, I might have availed myself of the obscurity that overshadows the infant years of our city, to introduce a thousand pleasing fictions. But I have scrupulously discarded many a pithy tale and marvellous adventure, whereby the drowsy air of summer indolence might be enthralled ; jealously maintaining that fidelity, gravity, and dignity, which should ever distinguish the historian. " For a writer of this class," observes an elegant critic, " must sustain the character of a wise man, writing for the instruction of posterity : one who has studied to inform himself well, who has pondered his subject with care, and addressed himself to our judgment rather than to our imagination."

Thrice happy, therefore, is this our renowned city, in having incidents worthy of swelling the theme of history ; and doubly thrice happy is it in having such an historian as myself to relate them. For after all, gentle reader, cities, of themselves, and in fact, empires of themselves, are nothing without an historian. It is the patient narrator who records their prosperity as they rise, who blazons forth the splendour of their noon-tide meridian, who props their feeble memorials as they totter to decay, who gathers together their scattered fragments as they rot, and who piously at length collects their ashes into the mausoleum of his work, and rears a triumphal monument to transmit their renown to all succeeding ages.

What has been the fate of many fair cities of antiquity, whose nameless ruins encumber the plains of Europe and Asia, and awaken the fruitless inquiry of the traveller?

PRKFACE. XIX

They have sunk into dust and silence ; they have perished from remembrance, for want of an historian! The philan- thropist may weep over their desolation; the poet may wander amongtheir mouldering arches and broken columns, and indulge the visionary flights of his fancy; but alas! alas I the modern historian, whose pen, like my own, is doomed to confine itself to dull matter of fact, seeks in vain among their oblivious remains for some memorial that may tell the instructive tale of their glory and their ruin.

" Wars, conflagrations, deluges," says Aristotle, "destroy nations, and with them all their monuments, their disco- \ fries, and their vanities. The torch of science has more than once been extinguished and rekindled; a few indivi- duals, who have escaped by accident, re-unite the thread of generations."

The same sad misfortune which has happened to so many ancient cities will happen again, and from the same sad cause, to nine-tenths of those which now flourish on the face of the globe. With most of them the time for recording their history is gone by ; their origin, their foundation, together with the early stages of their settle- ment, are for ever buried in the rubbish of years ; and the same would have been the case with this fair portion of the earth, if I had not snatched it from obscurity in the \ cry nick of time, at the moment that those matters herein recorded were about entering into the widespread insa- tiable maw of oblivion, if 1 had not dragged them out, as it were, by the very locks, just as the monster's adamantine fangs were closing upon them for ever! And here have I, as before observed, carefully collected, collated, and ar- ranged them, scrip and scrap, "punt en punt, gat en gat" and commenced in this little work, a history to serve as a foundation, on which other historians may hereafter raise a noble superstructure, swelling in process of time, until b

PREFACE.

Knickerbocker's New York may be equally voluminous with Gibbon's Rome, or Hume and Smollett's England!

And now indulge me for a moment : while I lay down my pen, skip to some little eminence at the distance of two or three hundred yards a-head; and, casting a bird's- eye glance over the waste of years that is to roll between, discover myself — little I! — at this moment the progenitor, prototype, and precursor of them all, posted at the head of this host of literary worthies, with my book under my arm, and New York on* my back, pressing forward like a with gallant commander, to honour and immortality!

Such are the vain-glorious imaginings that will now and then enter into the brain of the author — that irradiate, as with celestial light, his solitary chamber, cheering his weary spirits, and animating him to persevere in his la- bours. And I have freely given utterance to these rhap- sodies whenever they have occurred; not I trust, from an unusual spirit of egotism, but merely that the reader may for once have an idea how an author thinks and feels while he is writing — a kind of knowledge very rare and curious, and much to be desired.

CONTENTS.

Page

ACCOUNT of the Author »

Preface ;«'*-. XT

BOOK I.

CONTAUCIJtO DIVERS IVGKNIOUS THEORIES AND PHILOSOPHIC SPXCULA- TIOS1 COXCERJCIXQ.THK CREATION ASD POPULATION OP THE WORLD Al COXXECTED WITH THE HISTORT OF NEW YORK.

CHAP. I.— Description of the World 1

CHAP. II. — Cosmogony, or Creation of the World; with a Multitude of excellent Theories, by which the Creation of a World is shown to he no such difficult Matter as common Folks would imagine 8

CHAP. III. — How far that famous Navigator, Noah, was shamefully nicknamed ; and how he committed an unpar- donable Oversight in not having Four Sons : with the great Trouble of Philosophers caused thereby, and the Discovery of America . 16

CHAP. IV. — Showing the great Difficulty Philosophers have had in peopling America — and how the Aborigines came to be begotten by Accident, to the great Relief and Satisfaction of the Author 22

CHAP. V. — In which the Author puts a mighty Question to the Rout, by the Assistance of the Man in the Moon — which not only delivers Thousands of People from great Embarrassment, hut likewise concludes this Introductory

!„„ k 30

XX11 CONTENTS.

BOOK II.

TREATING OF THE FIRST SETTLEMENT OF THE PROVINCE OF NIET7W NEDERLAXDTS.

Page

CHAP. I. — In which are contained divers Reasons why a Man should not write in a hurry. Also of Master Hendrick Hudson, his Discovery of a strange Country — and how he was magnificently rewarded by the Munificence of their High Mightinesses 46

CHAP. II. — Containing an Account of a mighty Ark which floated under the Protection of St. Nicholas from Holland to Gibbet Island — the Descent of the strange Animals there- from— a great Victory, .and a Description of the ancient Village of Communipaw ....... 56

CHAP. Ill — In which is set forth the true Art of making a Bargain— together with the miraculous Escape of a great Metropolis in a Fog — and the Biography of certain Heroes of Communipaw 63

CHAP. IV. — How the Heroes of Communipaw voyaged to Hell-Gate, and how they were received there . . .70

CHAP. V. — How the Heroes of Communipaw returned some- what wiser than they went — and how the sage Oloffe dreamed a Dream — and the Dream that he dreamed • 80

CHAP. VI. — Containing an Attempt at Etymology — and of the Foundation of the great City of New Amsterdam . 84-

CHAP. VII. — How the City of New Amsterdam waxed great under the Protection of Oloffe the Dreamer . . .91

BOOK III.

IN WHICH IS RECORDED THE GOLDEN REIGN OF WOUTER VAN TWILLER.

CHAP. I. — Of the renowned Wouter Van Twiller, his unpa- ralleled Virtues — as likewise his unutterable Wisdom in the Law Case of Wandle Schoonhoven and Barent Bleecker — and the great Admiration of the Public thereat 98

CHAP. II. — Containing some Account of the grand Council of New Amsterdam, as also divers especial good philosophical Reasons why an Alderman should be fat — with other Par- ticulars touching the State of the Province ... 106

CHAP. III. — How the Town of New Amsterdam arose out of Mud, and came to be marvellously polished and polite — together with a Picture of our Great-great-grandfathers . ll.i

CON1I.N1-. XX111

Page

CHAP. IV. — Containing further Particulars of the Golden Age, and what constituted a fine Lady and Gentleman in the Days of Walter the Doubter . . . . 124

CHAT. V. — In which the Reader is beguiled into a delectable Walk, which ends very differently from what it commenced 130

CHAP. VI. — Faithfully describing the ingenious People of Connecticut and thereabouts — Showing, moreover, the true meaning of Liberty of Conscience, and a curious Device among these sturdy Barbarians, to keep up a Har- mony of Intercourse, and promote Population . . . 1.16

Cii \r. VII. — How these simple Barbarians turned out to be notorious Squatters. — How they built Air Castles, and at- tempted to initiate the Nederlanders in the Mystery of Bundling 141

CHVP. VIII.— How the Fort Goed Hoop was fearfully be- leaguered— how the renowned Wouter fell into a profound Doubt, and how he finally evaporated .... 146

BOOK IV.

CONTAINING THE CHRONICLE* OF THE REIGN OP WILLIAM THE TESTY.

CHAP. I. — Showing the Nature of History in general; con- taining furthermore the universal Acquirements of William the Testy, and how a Man may learn so much as to render himself good for Nothing 154

CHAP. II. — In which are recorded the sage Projects of a Ruler of universal Genius — The Art of fighting by Procla- mation— and how that the valiant Jacobus Van Curlet came to be foully dishonoured at Fort Goed Hoop . . 16 1

CHAP. Ill — Containing the fearful Wrath of William the . and the great Dolour of the New A Ulster dam mers, because of the Affair of Fort Goed Hoop. — And moreover how William the Testy did strongly fortify the City. — To- gether with the Exploits of Stoffel Brinkerhoff . . 170

CHAP. IV.— Philosophical Reflections on the Folly of being

happy in Times of Prosperity — Sundry Troubles on the

Southern Frontiers — How William the Testy had well nigh

ruined tht- Province through a cabalistic Word — As also the

lition of Jan Janscn Alpcndam, and his asto-

t 177

XXIV CONTENTS.

Page

CHAP. V. — How William the Testy enriched the Province by a Multitude of Laws, and came to be the Patron of Lawyers and Bumbailiffs — And how the People became ex- ceedingly enlightened and unhappy under his Instructions 186

CHAP. VI.— Of the great Pipe Plot— and of the dolorous Perplexities into which William the Testy was thrown, by reason of his having enlightened the Multitude . . . 194

CHAP. VII. — Containing divers fearful Accounts of Border Wars, and the flagrant Outrages of the Moss-Troopers of Connecticut: with the Rise of the great Amphictyonic Council of the East, and the Decline of William the Testy 200

BOOK V.

CONTAINING THE FIRST PART OP THE REIGN OF PETER STUYVE- SANT, AND HIS TROUBLES WITH THE AMPHICTYONIC COUNCIL.

CHAP. I. — In which the Death of a great Man is shown to be no very inconsolable Matter of Sorrow ; and how Peter Stuyvesant acquired a great Name from the uncommon Strength of his Head 210

CHAP. II. — Showing how Peter the Headstrong bestirred himself among the Rats and Cobwebs, on entering into Office; and the perilous Mistake he was guilty of in his Dealings with the Amphictyons 217

CHAP. III. — Containing various Speculations on War and Negotiations — showing that a Treaty of Peace is a great national Evil 222

CHAP. IV. — How Peter Stuyvesant was greatly belied by his Adversaries the Moss-Troopers — and his Conduct there- upon 228

CHAP. V. — How- the New Amsterdammers became great in Arms, and of the direful Catastrophe of a mighty Army — together with Peter Stuyvesant's Measures to fortify the City — and how he was the original Founder of the Battery 237

CHAP. VI. — How the People of the East Country were sud- denly afflicted with a diabolical Evil — and their judicious Measures for the Extirpation thereof 243

CHAP. VII. — Which records the Rise and Renown of a valiant Commander ; showing that a Man, like a Bladder, may be puffed up to Greatness and Importance by mere Wind . 249

N I -.

BOOK VI.

CONTAINING THE SECOND PART OF TUB REIGN OF PETER THE HEAD- STRONG AND HIS GALLANT ACHIEVEMENT* ON THE DELAWARE.

Page

CHAP. I.— In which is exhibited a warlike Portrait of the great Peter — and how General Von Poffenburgh distin- guished himself at Fort Casimir ... . . . 25S

CHAP. II. — Showing how profound Secrets are often brought to Light; with the Proceedings of Peter the Headstrong, when he heard of the Misfortune of General Von Poffen- burgh 269

C'liAp. III. — Containing Peter Stuyvesant's Voyage up the Hudson, and the Wonders and Delights of that renowned River 276

CHAP. IV. — Describing the powerful Army that assembled at the City of New Amsterdam — together with the Interview between Peter the Headstrong and General Von Poffen- burgh ; and Peter's Sentiments touching unfortunate great Men 284

CHAP. V. — In which the Author discourses very ingenuously of himself — after which is to be found much interesting H.-tory about Peter the Headstrong and his Followers . 290

CHAP. Vl. — Showing the great Advantage that the Author has over his Reader in time of Battle — together with divers portentous Movements; which betoken that something ter- rible is about to happen 299

CHAP. VII. — Containing the most horrible Battle recorded in Poetry or Prose : with the admirable Exploits of Peter the Headstrong 30G

CHAP. VIII. — In which the Author and the Reader, while reposing after the Battle, fall into a very grave Discourse — after which is recorded the Conduct of Peter Stuyvesant after his Victory 317

BOOK VII.

H I HE THIRD PART OF THE RE1UN OF PETER THE HEAD- STRONG—HIX TROUBLES WITH THE BRITISH NATION ; AND THE I'M LINE AMI FALL OF THE DUTCH DYNASTY.

CHAT. I. — How 1' nit relieved the Sovereign

People from the Kurthcii of taking care of the Nation —

with smith) Particulars of lii- Conduct in Time of Peace . .'J'27

XXVI CONTENTS.

Page

CHAP. II. — How Peter Stuyvesant was much molested by the Moss-Troopers of the East, and the Giants of Merry-land; and how a dark and horrid Conspiracy was carried on in the British Cabinet against the Prosperity of the Man- hattoes 338

CHAP. III. — Of Peter Stuyvesant's Expedition into the East Country ; showing that, though an old Bird, he did not understand Trap 344

CHAP. IV. — How the People of New Amsterdam were thrown into a great Panic, by the threatened Invasion ; and the Manner in which they fortified themselves . '. . 354

CHAP. V.— Showing how the Grand Council of the New Netherlands came to be miraculously gifted with long Tongues — Together with a great Triumph of Economy . 357

CHAP. VI. — In which the Troubles of New Amsterdam ap- pear to thicken — Showing the Bravery, in Time of Peril, of a People who defend themselves by Resolutions . . 363

CHAP. VII. — Containing a doleful Disaster of Anthony the Trumpeter; and how Peter Stuyvesant, like a Second Cromwell, suddenly dissolved a Rump Parliament . . 372

CHAP. VIII. — How Peter Stuyvesant defended the City of New Amsterdam for several days, by Dint of the Strength of his Head ; . 378

CHAP. IX. — Containing the dignified Retirement and mortal Surrender of Peter the Headstrong . 385

CHAP. X. — The Author's Reflections upon what has been said . . . . . . . . . .392

ILLUSTRATIONS.

DUTCH WEIGHT to face Title.

THE DEATH OF WALTER THE DOUBTER . tofdCe page 153

THE GREAT PIPE PLOT , „ 194

PETER STUYVESANT AND THE PIG-TAIL 314

THE

HISTORY OF NEW YORK.

BOOK I.

. I'lVf.KS INOCMO! 5 THEORIES AND PHILOSOPHIC SPECULA- TION* ( ON ( til MM! THE CREATION AND POPULATION OF TUB WOULD, AS CONXEITKD WITH THE HISTORY OF S EW YOKK.

CHAPTER I.

Description of the World.

An DKDING to the best authorities, the world in which wr i Ku 11 i> a huge, opaque, reflecting, inanimate -. floating in the vast ethereal ocean of infinite >jKice. It has the form of an orange, being an oblate spheroid, curiously flattened at opposite parts, for the in-ertion of two imaginary poles, which are supposed to penetrate and unite at the centre; thus forming an ,i\i-, on which the mighty orange turns with a regular diurnal revolution.

The transitions of light and darkness, whence pro-

i th« alternations of day and night, are produced

by this diurnal revolution successively presenting the

different j>arts of the earth to the ray- of the sun.

The lattrr is, aerordin<: to the best, that is to say, the

• accounts, a luminous or fiery body, of a pro-

52 HISTORY OF

digious magnitude; from which this world is driven by a centrifugal or repelling power, and to which it is drawn by a centripetal or attractive force, otherwise called the attraction of gravitation ; the combination, or rather the counteraction, of these two opposing impulses, producing a circular and annual revolution. Hence result the different seasons of the year, viz. spring, summer, autumn, and winter.

This I believe to be the most approved modern theory on the subject — though there be many phi- losophers who have entertained very different opinions ; some, too, of them entitled to much deference, from their great antiquity and illustrious characters. Thus, it was advanced by some of the ancient sages, that the earth was an extended plain, supported by vast pillars ; and by others, that it rested on the head of a snake, or the back of a huge tortoise: but as they did not provide a resting-place for either the pillars or the tortoise, the whole theory fell to the ground, for want of proper foundation.

The Brahmins assert, that the heavens rest upon the earth, and the sun and moon swim therein, like fishes in the water, moving from east to west by day, and gliding along the edge of the horizon to their original stations during the night;* while, according to the Pauranicas of India, it is a vast plain, encircled by seven oceans of milk, nectar, and other delicious liquids; that it is studded with seven mountains, and ornamented in the centre by a mountainous rock of burnished gold; and that a great dragon occasionally swallows up the moon, which accounts for the pheno- mena of lunar eclipses.f

Besides these, and many other equally sage opinions, we have the profound conjectures of ABOUL-HAS-

* Faria y Souza. Mick. Lus. note b. 7. f Sir W. Jones, Diss. Antiq. Ind. ZoJ.

NEW YORK. J>

I.Y, son of Al Klian, son of Aly, son of Abder- rahinan. son of Abdullah, son of Masoud-el-Hadlicli, \vli<> is commonly called MASOUDI, and surnamed Cothbeddin, but who takes the humble title of La- liebar-nu-oul, which means the companion of the am- baasad'tr of God. He has written a universal history, entitled •• Mouroudge-ed-dhahrab; or, The Golden Meadows, and the Mines of precious Stones."* In tliis valuable work he has related the history of tin- world, from the creation down to the moment of writing, which was under the Khaliphat of Mothi Billah, in the month Dgioumadi-el-aoual of the 338th year of the Hegira or flight of the Prophet. He informs us that the earth is a huge bird; Mecca and Medina constitute the lu-ad, Persia and India the riglit wing, the land of Gog the left wing, and Africa th tail. He informs us, moreover, that an earth has

dli !( re the present (which he considers as a f 7000 years,) that it has undergone divers dt luges, and that, according to the opinion of M'li.e \\ell-inforincd Brahmins of his acquaint- ance, it will be renovat' d cvt ry seventy-thousandth btturomm; each hazarouam consisting of 12,000

These are a few of the many contradictory opinions

of ]>!i:l- Ciphers concerning the earth; and we find

1 have had equal perplexity as to the

na'ure of the sun. Some of the ancient philosophers

have ail'miied tint it is a va>t win el of brilliant fire;f , that it i> UK rely a mirror or sphere of trans- pai-ent ery-lal;| and a third ela-s, at the head of whom st. mil. Anaxagoras, maintained that it

• MSS. Bihliot. H.

t 1'hit. do 1'iac. Philos. lib. ii.cap. 20.

l«ag. cap. 1!«. \i>. l'( u\. t. iii. p. M. 9 Eclog. Phys. HI), i. p. oi>. I'lut. de 1'luc. Philos. B -»

HISTORY OF

nothing but a huge ignited mass of iron or stone: indeed, lie declared the heavens to be merely a vault of stone, and that the stars were stones whirled. up- wards from the earth, and set on fire by the velocity of its revolutions.* But I give little attention to the doctrines of this philosopher, the people of Athens having fully refuted them, by banishing him from their city; a concise mode of answering unwelcome doctrines, much resorted to in former days. Another sect of philosophers do declare, that certain fiery particles exhale constantly from the earth, which, concentrating in a single point of the firmament by (lay, constitute the sun, but being scattered and rambling about in the dark at night, collect in various points, and form stars. These are regularly burnt out and extinguished, not unlike to the lamps in our streets, and require a fresh supply of exhalations for the next occasion.-)-

It is even recorded, that at certain remote and obscure periods, in consequence of a great scarcity of fuel, the sun has been completely burnt out, and sometimes not rekindled for a month at a time; — a most melancholy circumstance, the very idea of which gave vast concern to Heraclitus, that worthy weeping philosopher of antiquity. In addition to these various speculations, it was the opinion of Herschel, that the sun is a magnificent, habitable abode; the light it furnishes arising from certain empyreal, luminous or phosphoric clouds, swimming in its transparent atmo- sphere. J

But we will not enter further at present into the

* Diogenes Laertiusin Anaxag. 1. ii. sec. 8. Plat. Apol.t. i. p. 26. Plut. de. Plac. Philos. Xenoph. Mein.l. iv. p. 815.

f Aristot. Meteor. 1. ii. c. 2. Idem. Probl. sec. 15. Stob. Eel. Phys. 1. i. p. 55. Bruck. Hist. Phil. t. i. p. 1 154, &c.

1 Philos. Trans. 1795. p. 72. Idem. 1801. p. 265. Nich. Philos. Journ. i. p. 13.

M:W YORK. •>

nature of tlio sun, tliat being an inquiry not irnme- diah ly ID -ci ---ary to the development of this history; neither will we cinhroil ourselves in any more of the endh >s disputes of philosophers touching the form of this globe, I. ut content ourselves with the theory advanced in the beginning of this chapter, and will jinx-red to illustrate, by experiment, the complexity of motion therein ascribed to this our rotatory planet.

l'rote-<or Von Poddingcoft(orPuddinghead, as the name may be rendered into English) was long cele- brated, in the university of Leyden, formost profound gravity of deportment, and his talent at going to sleep in the mid>t of examinations; to the infinite relief of his hopeful students, who thereby worked their way through college with great ease and little study. In the course of one of his lectures, the. learned pro- fessor, seizing a bucket of water, swung it round his head at arm's length; the impulse with which lie threw tli ••• vessel from him being a centrifugal

. the retention of his arm operating as a cen- tripetal power, and the bucket, which 'was a sub- stitute for the earth, describing a circular orbit round about the -I Imlar head and ruby visage of Profes- { on Poddingcoft, which formed no bad representa- tion of the MIII. All of tin se particulars were duly explained to the class of gaping students around him. He apprised them, moreover, that the same principleof

.t itioii which retained the water in the bucket, r< -trains the ocean from Hying from the earth in its rapid revolutions; and he further informed them, that should the motion of the earth be suddenly clucked, it would incontinently fall into the sun, through the centripetal force of gia\ itatioii ;— a mo>t ruinous event to this planet, and one which would al-o

ure, though it must probably would not extinguish the solar luminary. An unlucky stripling, one of those

b HISTORY OF

vagrant geniuses who seem sent into the world merely to annoy worthy men of the puddinghead order, de- sirous of ascertaining the correctness of the experiment, suddenly arrested the arm of the professor, just at the moment that the bucket was in its zenith, which immediately descended with astonishing precision on the philosophic head of the instructor of youth. A hollow sound, and a red-hot hiss, attended the contact, but the theory was in the amplest manner illustrated, for the unfortunate bucket perished in the conflict ; but the blazing countenance of Professor Von Pod- dingcoft emerged from amidst the waters, glowing fiercer than ever with unutterable indignation ; where- by the students were marvellously edified, and de- parted considerably wiser than before.

It is a mortifying circumstance, which greatly per- plexes many a pains-taking philosopher, that Nature often refuses to second his most profound and elabo- rate efforts; so that often, after having invented one of the most ingenious and natural theories imaginable, she will have the perverseness to act directly in the teeth of his system, and flatly contradict his most favourite positions. This is a manifest and unmerited .grievance, since it throws the censure of the vulgar and unlearned entirely upon the philosopher; whereas the fault is not to be ascribed to his theory, which is unquestionably correct, but to the waywardness of dame Nature, who, with the proverbial fickleness of her sex, is continually indulging in coquetries and caprices, and seems really to take pleasure in violating all philosophic rules, and jilting the most learned and indefatigable of her adorers. Thus it happened with respect to the foregoing satisfactory explanation of the motion of our planet; it appears that the centri- fugal force has long since ceased to operate, while its antagonist remains in undiminished potency: the

NEW YORK. 7

world, tin -ivt'i >re, according to the theory as it origin- ally stood, (infill, in strict propriety, to tumble into tin- sun: philosophers were convinced that it would do -o, and awaited, in anxious impatience, the fulfil- ment of their prognostics. But the untoward planet pertinaciously continued her course, notwithstanding that she iiad IV;ISM:I, philosophy, and a whole univer- -ity of learned professors opposed to her conduct. The philosophers took this in very ill part, and it is thought they would never have pardoned the slight and ati'ront which they conceived put upon them by the world, had not a good-natured professor kindly "tiieiatid as a mediator between the parties, and eHeetcd a r conciliation.

Finding the world would not accommodate itself to the theory, in wisely determined to accommodate the theory to the world : he therefore informed his brother philosophers, that the circular motion of the earth round the sun was no sooner engendered, by the con- tlicting impulses abovi described, than it became a regular revolution, independent of the causes which gave it origin. His learned brethren readily joined in the opinion, being heartily glad of any explanation that would decently extricate them from embarrass- ment ; and. i v. r -ince that memorable era, the world has been left to take her own course, and to revolve around the sun in such orbit as she thinks proper.

HISTORY OF

CHAPTER II.

Cosmogony, or Creation of the World ; with a Multitude of ex- cellent Theories, by which the Creation of a World is shown to be no such difficult Matter as common Folks would imagine.

HAVING thus briefly introduced my reader to the world, and given him some idea of its form and situa- tion, he will naturally be curious to know from whence it came, and how it was created. And indeed the clearing up of these points is absolutely essential to my history, inasmuch as if this world had not been formed, it is more than probable that this renowned island, on which is situated the city of New York, would never have had an existence. The regular course of my history, therefore, requires that I should proceed to notice the cosmogony or formation of this our globe.

And now I give my readers fair warning, that I am about to plunge, for a chapter or two, into as complete a labyrinth as ever historian was perplexed withal ; therefore, I advise them to take fast hold of my .skirts, and keep close at my heels, venturing neither to the right hand nor to the left, lest they get bemired in a slough of unintelligible learning, or have their brains knocked out by some of those hard Greek names which will be flying about in all directions. But should any of them be too indolent or chicken-hearted to accom- pany me in this perilous undertaking, they had better take a short cut round, and wait for me at the begin- ning of some smoother chapter.

Of the creation of the world we have a thousand contradictory accounts; and, though a very satisfactory one is furnished by divine revelation, yet every philo- sopher feels himself in honour bound to furnish us

Ni;W YORK.

with a better. As an impartial historian, I consider it my duty to notice their several theories, by which mankind have been so exceedingly edified -and in- structed.

Thus, it was the opinion of certain ancient sages, that the earth and the whole system of the universe was th«- Deity himself;* a doctrine most strenuously maintained l»y Xenophanes and the whole tribe of HI. aties. as also by Strato and the sect of peripatetic philosophers. Pythagoras 'likewise inculcated the famous numerical system of the monad, dyad, and tryad: and by means of his sacred quaternary, eluci- dated the formation of the world, the arcana of nature, end the principles both of music and morals.f Other adhered to the mathematical system of squares and triangles: the cube, the pyramid, and the sphere; the tetrahedron, the octahedron, the icosahedron, and the d< decahedron. J While others advocated the great elementary theory, which refers the construction of our globe and all that it contains to the combina- tions of four material elements, air, earth, fire, and water; \\iih the assistance of a fifth, an immaterial and vivifying principle.

Nor must 1 omit to mention the great atomic sys- tem taught by old Moschus, before the siege of Troy; ed hy Democritusof laughing memory; improved by Kpieunis. that king of good fellows ; and modern- i/e«l by the fanciful Descartes. Hut I decline inquiring whether the atoms, of which the earth is said to be composed, are eternal or recent: whether they are animate or inanimate; whither, agreeably to the opi- nion of Atheists, they \\ere fortuitously aggregated;

• Ari.stnt. ap. ( io. lili. i. cap. 3.

f Aristot. Mrtaph. lil>. i. i. .".. Mi-m tie Ccelo, 1. iii. c. 1. an. Mi'in. Mir .Mii<i.jiif AIK ii-ti. p. 39. Plutarch dc Plac. Pliilos. lib. i. cap. 3.

* Tim. Locr. ap. Plat. t. iii. p. 90.

10 HISTORY OF

or, as the Theists maintain, were arranged by a su- preme intelligence.* Whether, in fact, the earth be an insensate clod, or whether it be animated by a soul;-}- which opinion was strenuously maintained by a host of philosophers, at the head of whom stands the great Plato, that temperate sage, who threw the cold water of philosophy on the form of sexual intercourse, and inculcated the doctrine of Platonic love — an ex- quisitely refined intercourse, but much better adapted to the ideal inhabitants- of his imaginary island of Atlantis than to the sturdy race, composed of rebel- lious flesh and blood, which populates the little matter- of-fact island we inhabit.

Besides these systems, we have, moreover, the- poetical theogony of old Hesiod, who generated the whole universe in the regular mode of procreation ; and the plausible opinion of others, that the earth was hatched from the great egg of night, which floated in chaos, and was cracked by the horns of the celestial bull. To illustrate this last doctrine, Burnet, in his theory of the earth, J has favoured us with an accurate drawing and description, both of the form and texture of this mundane egg, which is found to bear a near resemblance to that of a goose. Such of my readers as take a proper interest in the origin of this our planet will be pleased to learn, that the most profound sages of antiquity, among the Egyptians, Chaldeans, Persians, Greeks, and Latins, have alter- nately assisted at the hatching of this strange bird ; and that their cacklings have been caught, and con-

* Aristot. Nat. Auscult. 1. ii. cap. 6. Aristoph. Metaph. lib. i. cap. 3. Cic. de Nat. Deor. lib. i. cap. 10. Justin Mart. Orat. ad Gent. p. 20.

f Mosheim in Cudw. lib. i. cap. 4. Tim. de Anim. Mund. ap. PJat. lib. iii. Me"m. de 1'Acad. des Belles Lettres, t. xxxii. p. 19, et al.

Book i. ch. 5.

NEW YORK. 11

finned, in different tones and inflections, from philo- Miphrr to philosopher, unto the present day.

But \vliik' hrit-fly noticing long-celebrated systems of ancient sages, let me not pass over, with neglect, those dt' other philosophers, which, though less universal than renowned, have equal claims to atten- tion, anil equal chance for correctness. Thus, it is ivconltd by tin.- Brahmins, in the pages of their inspired Shastah, that the angel Bistnoo transformed himself into a great boar, plunged into the watery abyss, and brought up the earth on his tusks. Then i.-Mud from him a mighty tortoise, and a mighty snake; and Bistnoo placed the snake erect upon the back of the tortoise, and he placed the earth upon tlie head of the snake.*

Tli.- negro philosophers of Congo affirm, that the world was made by the hands of angels, excepting their own country, which the Supreme Being con- -trnctt d hiniM-lf, that it might be supremely excellent. And he touk gnat pains with the inhabitants, and made tli- in very black and beautiful; and when he had finished the first man. he was well pleased with him, and smoothed him over the face, and hence his iio-e. and the nosi <of all his descendants, became flat.

The Mohawk philosophers tell us, that a pregnant woman fell down from heaven, and that a tortoise took her upon its back, because every place was eti\crcd with water; and that the woman, sitting upon the tortoise, paddled with her hands in the water, and raked up the earth, whence it finally happened that the earth became higher than the water.-f-

But I forbear to quote a number more of these

• Holwi-ll, (i.-nt. Philosophy.

f Johannes Miyapolenais, jun. Account of Maquans or Mohawk Indians. Ill Ik

12 HISTORY OF

ancient and outlandish philosophers, whose deplorable ignorance, in despite of all their erudition, compelled them to write in languages which but few of my readers can understand; and I shall proceed briefly to notice a few more intelligible and fashionable theories of their modern successors.

And first, I shall mention the great Buffon, who conjectures that this globe was originally a globe of liquid fire, scintillated from the body of the sun, by the percussion of a comet, as a spark is generated by the collision of flint and steel. That at first it was surrounded by gross vapours, which, cooling and condensing in- process of time, constituted, according to their densities, earth, water, and air; which gra- dually arranged themselves, according to their respec- tive gravities, round the burning or vitrified mass that formed their centre.

Hutton, on the contrary, supposes that the waters at first were universally paramount; and he terrifies himself with the idea that the earth must be even- tually washed away by the force of rain, rivers, and mountain torrents, until it is confounded with the ocean, or, in other words, absolutely dissolves into itself. Sublime idea! far surpassing that of the tender-hearted damsel of antiquity, who wept herself into a fountain; or the good dame of Narbonne in France, who, for a volubility of tongue unusual in her sex, was doomed to peel five hundred thousand and thirty-nine ropes of onions, and actually ran out at her eyes before half the hideous task was accom- plished.

Whiston, the same ingenious philosopher who rivalled Ditton in his researches after the longitude (for which the mischief-loving Swift discharged on their heads a most savoury stanza,) has distinguished himself by a very admirable theory respecting the

NEW YORK. 13

earth. lie conjectures that it was originally a chaotic ctiiiti'f, which, being selected for the abode of man, \\a- removed from its eccentric orbit, and whirled round the sun in its present regular motion; by which change of direction, order succeeded to con- fu-ion in the arrangement of its component parts. The philosopher adds, that the deluge was produced by an uncourteous salute from the watery tail of another comet, doubtless through sheer envy of its improvi d condition; thus furnishing a melancholy proof that jealousy may prevail even among the lieavcnly bodies, and discord interrupt that celestial harmony of the spheres, so melodiously sung by the poets.

Hut I pass over a variety of excellent theories, among which are those of Burnet, and Woodward, and Whitchurst; regretting extremely that my time will not sutler me to give them the notice they deserve, and shall conclude with that of the renowned Dr. Darwin. This learned Theban, who is as much distinguished for rhyme as reason, and for good- natured credulity as serious research, and who has recommended himself wonderfully to the good graces of the ladiis, l»y letting them into all the gallantries, amour-, debaucheries, and other topics of scandal of the court of Flora, has fallen upon a theory worthy of his cnmhu-tiblf imagination. According to his opinion, the huge mas> of chaos took a sudden occa- «ion to explode, like a barrel of gunpowder, and, in that act. exploded the sun — which in its Hight, by a Minilar convulsion exploded the earth — which, in like guise, exploded the moon — and thus, by a concatena- tion of explosions the \\hole -olar >\-iem was pro- duced, ami -it n n-t systematically in motion.*

\'>\ the gre:it variety of throrie- li'ie alluded to, w. Bot. Garden, Tart I. C.int. i. 1. 105.

14 . HISTORY OF

every one of which, if thoroughly examined, will be found surprisingly consistent in all its parts, my un- learned readers will perhaps be led to conclude, that the creation of a world is not so difficult a task as they at first imagined. I have shown at least a score of ingenious methods in which a world could be con- structed; and, I have no doubt, that had any of the philosophers above quoted the use of a good manage- able comet, and the philosophical warehouse, chaos, at his command, he would engage to manufacture a planet as good, or, if you would take his word for it, better than this we inhabit.

And here I cannot help noticing the kindness of Providence, in creating comets for the great relief of bewildered philosophers. By their assistance more sudden evolutions and transitions are effected in the system of nature, than are wrought in a pantomimic exhibition, by the wonder-working sword of harlequin. Should one of our modern sages, in his theoretical flights among the stars, ever find himself lost in the clouds, and in danger of tumbling into the abyss of nonsense and absurdity, he has but to seize a comet by the beard, mount astride of its tail, and away he gallops in triumph, like an enchanter on his hippo- griff, or a Connecticut witch on her broomstick, " to sweep the cobwebs out of the sky."

It is an old and vulgar saying, about a "beggar on horseback," which I would not for the world have applied to these reverend philosophers: but I must confess, that some of them, when they are mounted on one of those fiery steeds, are as wild in their cur- vettings as was Phaeton of yore, when he aspired to manage the chariot of Phcebus. One drives his comet at full speed against the sun, and knocks the world out of him with the mighty concussion ; another, more moderate, makes his comet a kind of

NEW YORK. 15

beast of burden, carrying the sun a regular supply of food and faggots; a third, of more combustible dis- position, threaten? to throw his comet, like a bomb- shell, into the world, and blow it up like a powder magazine; while a fourth, with no great delicacy to this planet and its inhabitants, insinuates that some day or other his comet — my modest pen blushes while I write it — shall absolutely turn tail upon our world and deluge it with water! Surely, as I have already observed, comets were bountifully provided by 1'n.vidf nee, for the benefit of philosophers, to assist them in manufacturing theories.

And now. having adduced several of the most pro- minent theories that occur to my recollection, I leave my judicious readers at full liberty to choose among them. They are all serious speculations of learned men, all differ essentially from each other, and all hav. the -ame title to belief. It has' ever been the ta-k of one raeo of philosophers to demolish the works of their j" s, and elevato more splendid fan- - in their >t- ad. which, in their turn, are demo- IMi< d and replaced by the air-castles of a succeeding i ation. Thus it would seem that knowledge and genius, of- which \vc make such great parade, consist but in (Meeting the errors and absurdities of tho>e who li;.\e gone before, and devising new errors and abMirdiiit B, to be detected by those who are to come atti i are the mighty soap-bubbles with which the grown-up children of science amuse them- ,r hom >t vulgar stand ga/ing in stupid admiration, and dignify these learned vag.iries with the nani'- <•(' ui-d-'ii! Surely Socrates \\as right in his opinion, that philosophers are but a -obi rer >«>rt of madmen, busying t!r ms.lv. s in things totally in- con -p which, it' they could be < prc-

IK nded, would be found not worthy the trouble of disco \

16

For my own part, until the learned have come to an agreement among themselves, I shall content myself with the account handed down to us by Moses; in which I do but follow the example of our ingenious neighbours of Connecticut, who at their first settle- ment proclaimed, that the colony should be governed by the laws of God — until they had time to make better.

One thing, however, appears certain — from the una- nimous authority of the before-quoted philosophers, supported by the evidence of our own senses (which, though very apt to deceive us, may be cautiously admitted as additional testimony;) it appears, I say, and I make the assertion deliberately, without fear of contradiction, that this globe really was created, and that it is composed of land and water. It further appears that it is curiously divided and parcelled out into continents and islands, among which, I boldly declare the renowned ISLAND OF NEW YORK will be found by any one who seeks for it in its proper place.

CHAPTER III.

How far that famous Navigator, Noah, was shamefully nick- named; and how he committed an unpardonable Oversight in not having Four Sons: with the great Trouble of Philo- sophers caused thereby, and the Discovery of America.

NOAH, who is the first seafaring man we read of, begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japhet. Authors, it is true, are not wanting, \vho affirm that the pa- triarch had a number of other children. Thus, Berosus makes him father of the gigantic Titans ; Methodius gives him a son called Jonithus, or Jonicus (who was the first inventor of Johnny-cakes ;) and others have mentioned a son named Thuiscon, from whom de-

NEW YORK. 1"

;. d the Teutons, or Teutonic, or in other words tin- Dutch nation.

I r< -i-< t exceedingly that the nature of my plan will not permit me to gratify the laudable curiosity of my readers, by investigating minutely the history of the gn-at Noah. Indeed, such an undertaking would be attended w ith more trouble than many people would imagine; for the good old patriarch seems to have !)• en a great traveller in his day, and to have

d under a different name in every country that he visited. The Chaldeans, for instance, give us his

. merely altering hi- name into Xisuthrus — a trivial alteration, which, to an historian skilled in etymologies, \\i\l appear wholly unimportant. It appears likewi-e, that he had exchanged his tar- pawling and quadrant, among the Chaldeans, for the gorgeous insignia «>f reyalty, and appears as a monarch in their annals. The Egyptians celebrate him under the nanieof (KiiN; the Indians as Menu; the Greek and Roman writer- confound him with Ogyges, and the Tin ban with Deucalion and Saturn. But the Chinese, who de-i rvedly rank among the most ex- teii-ive and authentic historians, inasmuch as they have kno\\n the world nnu h longer than any one ire that Noah was no other than Fohi; and, what gives this assertion some air of credibility is, that it is a fact, admitted by the most enlightened literati, that Noah travelled into' China, at the time of the building of the tower of Babel (probably to improve himself in the study of languages,) and tin d Dr. Shnckford gives, us the additional in- formation, that the ark rested on a mountain on the frontier- of China.

I'rnin this mass of rational conjectures and sage hypotheses many satisfaeti-iy d(ducLions might be drawn; but I shall content my>elf with the .-implf fact stated in the Bible, v;/. that Noah begat three

18 HISTORY OP

sons, Shem, Ham, and Japhet. It is astonishing on what remote and obscure contingencies the great affairs of this world depend, and how events the most distant and, to the common observer, unconnected, are inevitably consequent the one to the other. It remains to the philosopher to discover these mys- terious affinities, and is the proudest triumph of his skill to detect and drag forth some latent chain of causation, which at first sight appears a paradox to the inexperienced observer. Thus, many of my readers will doubtless wonder what connexion the family of Noah can possibly have with this history ; and many will stare when informed that the whole history of this quarter of the world has taken its character and course, from the simple circumstance of the patriarch's having but three sons. But to explain.

Noah, we are told by sundry very credible his- torians, becoming sole surviving heir and proprietor of the earth, in fee-simple, after the deluge, like a good father, portioned out his estate among his child- ren. To Shem he gave Asia, to Ham Africa, and to Japhet Europe. Now, it is a thousand times to be lamented that he had but three sons, for, had there been a fourth, he would doubtless have inherited America: 'which of course would have been dragged forth from its obscurity on the occasion; and thus, many a hard-working historian and philosopher would have been spared a prodigious mass of weary con- jecture, respecting the first discovery and population of this country. Noah, however, having provided for his three sons, looked, in all probability, upon our country as mere wild, unsettled land, and said nothing about it; and to this unpardonable taciturnity of the patriarch may be ascribed the misfortune, that Ame- rica did not come into the world as early as the other quarters of the globe.

It is true, some writers have vindicated him from

\V YORK. 19

this misconduct towards posterity, and asserted that he really iliil di*eo\er America. Thus, it was the opinion of Mark Lescarbot, a French writer, pos- sessed of that ponderosity of thought, and profound- lit' reflection, so peculiar to his nation, that the immeiliate descendants of Noah peopled this quarter of the globe, and that the old patriarch himself, who still retained a passion for the seafaring life, superin- tended the transmigration. The pious and enlight- ened father C'harlevoix, a French Jesuit, remarkable for his aversion to the marvellous, common to all great travellers, is conclusively of the same opinion ; nay, he goes still further, and decides upon the man- ner in which the discovery was effected, which was by sea, and under the immediate direction of the great i. " I have already observed," exclaimed tin- good father, in a tone of becoming indignation, " that it is an arbitrary supposition that the grandchildren <>f Noah were not able to penetrate into the new world, or that they nev. r thought of it. In effect, I can see no reason that can justify such a notion. Who can 'i>ly believe, that Noah and his immediate des- cendant* knew less than we do, and that the builder and pilot of the greatest ship that ever was, a ship which was formed to traverse an unbounded ocean, ;ind had so m; ny shoals and quicksands to guard against, should be ignorant of, or should not have commuiiicati d to his descendants, the art of sailing, on the ocean? Therefore they did sail on the ocean —then fore they sailed to America — therefore Ame-

,t> discovered by Noah I "

Nuw, all this exquisite chain of reasoning, which is so strikingly characteristic of the good father, being •(Unwed to the faith, ratlin- than to the BadentaBCU ing, is fhtly opposed by Hans tie Latt. \\lio declare- it a real and most lidiculons paradox, to suppose that c2

2 HISTORY OF

Noah ever entertained the thought of discovering America; and, as Hans is a Dutch writer, I am inclined to believe he must have been much better acquainted with the worthy crew of the ark than his competitors, and of course possessed of more accurate sources of information. It is astonishing how inti- mate historians do daily become with the patriarchs and other great men of antiquity. As intimacy improves with time, and as the learned are particu- larly inquisitive and familiar in their acquaintance with the ancients, I should not be surprised, if some future writers should gravely give us a picture of men and manners as they existed before the flood, far more copious and accurate than the Bible : and that, in the course of another century, the log-book of the good Noah should be as current among historians as the voyages of Captain Cook, or the renowned history of Robinson Crusoe.

I shall not occupy my time by discussing the huge mass of additional suppositions, conjectures, and pro- babilities respecting the first discovery of this country, with which unhappy historians overload themselves, in their endeavours to satisfy the doubts of an incre- dulous world. It is painful to see these laborious wights panting and toiling and sweating under an enormous burden, at the very outset of their works, which, on being opened, turns out to be nothing but a mighty bundle of straw. As, however, by unwea- ried assiduity, they seem to have established the fact, to the satisfaction of all the world, that this country has been discovered, I shall avail myself of their use- ful labours to be extremely brief upon this point.

I shall not stop, therefore, to inquire, whether Ame- rica was first discovered by a wandering vessel of that celebrated Phoenician fleet, which, according to He- rodotus, circumnavigated Africa ; or by that Cartha-

NEW YORK. -

ginian expedition, which Pliny, the naturalist, infonns us. di-e \.-ivd the Canary Islands; or whether it was d !iy a temporary colony from Tyre, as hinted l>\ Aristotle and Seneca. 1 shall neither inquire whether it was first discovered by the Chinese, as a- with great shrewdness advances, nor by the is in 1002, under Biorn; nor by Behem, Hie Cierman navigator, as Mr. Otto has endeavoured to prove to the seavans of the learned city of Phila- delphia.

NOr shall I investigate the more modern claims of the Welsh, founded on the voyage of Prince Madoc in the eleventh century, who, having never returned, it has since been wisely concluded that he must have gone to America, and that for a plain reason — if he did not go there, where else could he have gone ? — a <|iiestion which, most Socratically, shuts out all further dispute.

Laying a<ide, therefore, all the conjectures above- mentioned, with a multitude of others equally satis- factory, I shall take for granted the vulgar opinion, that America was discovered on the 12th of October, 14!>2, by Christovallo Colon, a Genoese, who has been clumsily nicknamed Columbus, but for what reason I cannot discern. Of the voyages and adven- tun s of this Colon, I shall say nothing, seeing that they are already sufficiently known. Nor shall I undertake to prove that this country should have been called Colonia, after his name, that being noto- riou-ly self-evident.

I laving thus happily got my readers on this side of the Atlantic, 1 picture them to myself, all impatienci to enter upon the enjoyment of the land of promise, and in full expectation that I will immediately deliver it into their possession. But if I do. may I ever for- feit the reputation of a r.-gular-l)red historian. No,

'22 HISTORY OF

no, most curious and thrice-learned readers (for thrice-learned ye are if ye have read all that has gone before, and nine times learned shall ye be if ye read that comes after,) we have yet a world of work before us. Think you the first discoverers of this fair quarter of the globe had nothing to do but go on shore and find a country ready laid out and culti- vated like a garden, wherein they might revel at their ease ? No such thing; they had forests to cut down, underwood to grub up, marshes to drain, and savages to exterminate.

In like manner, I have sundry doubts to clear away, questions to resolve, and paradoxes to explain, before I permit you to range at random ; but these difficulties once overcome, we shall be enabled to jog on right merrily through the rest of our history. Thus my work shall, in a manner, echo the nature of the subject, in the same manner as the sound of poetry has been found, by certain shrewd critics, to echo the sense — this being an improvement in history, which I claim the merit of having invented.

CHAPTER IV.

Shoeing the great Difficulty Philosophers have had in peopling America — and how the Aborigines came to be begotten by Accident, to the great Relief and Satisfaction of the Author.

THE next inquiry at which we arrive in the regular course of our history, is to ascertain, if possible, how this country was originally peopled ; a point fruitful of incredible embarrassments ; for unless we prove that the aborigines did absolutely come from some- where, it will be immediately asserted, in this age of

NEW YORK. 23

; it -i-in. tliat they did not come at all ; and if they <lid not come at all, then was this country never populated — a conclusion perfectly agreeable to the rule* i.l' logic, lint wholly irreconcilable to every feel- ing of humanity, inasmuch as it must syllogistically pio\e fatal to tlie innumerable aborigines of this populous region.

To avert so dire a sophism, and to rescue from logical annihilation so many millions of fello\v-crea- tures, how many wings of geese have been plundered! what <>etan> of ink have been benevolently drained! and how many capacious heads of learned historians have hi -rii addled and for ever confounded ! I pause with reverential awe, when I contemplate the pon- derous tomes in different languages, with which they have endeavoured to solve this question, so important to the happiness of society, but so involved in clouds of impenetrable obscurity. Historian after historian has engaged in the endless circle of hypothetical argu- ment, and after leading us a weary chase through octave-, (juartos, and folios, has let us out, at the end of his \vork. ju-t as wise as we were at the beginning. It \\.:i-. doubtless, some philosophical wild-goose chase of the kind, that made the old poet Macrobius rail in Mich a pa-sioii at curiosity, which he anathematizes mo-t heartily as "an irksome, agonizing care; a superstitious industry about unprofitable things; an itching humour to see what is not to be seen, and to lie doing \\liat signifies nothing when it is done." lint to proceed : —

Of the claims of the children of Noah to the ori- ginal population of this country I shall say nothing, as tin \ have already been touched upon in my last chapter. The claimants next in celebrity are the descendants of Abraham. Thus, Chri-toval Colon ( vulgarly called Columbus,) when he first discovered

'24 HISTORY OF

the gold mines of Hispaniola, immediately concluded, with a shrewdness that would have done honour to a philosopher, that he had found the ancient Ophir, from whence Solomon procured the gold for embel- lishing the temple at Jerusalem: nay, Colon even imagined that he saw the remains of furnaces of veritable Hebraic construction, employed in refining the precious ore.

So golden a conjecture, tinctured with such fasci- nating extravagance, was too tempting not to be immediately snapped at by the gudgeons of learning; and accordingly, there were divers profound writers ready to swear to its correctness, and to bring in their usual load of authorities and wise surmises, wherewithal to prop it up. Vatablus and Robertus Stephens declared nothing could be more clear; Arius Montanus, without the least hesitation, asserts that Mexico was the true Ophir, and the Jews the early settlers of the country ; while Possevin, Becan, and several other sagacious writers, lug in a supposed prophecy of the fourth book of Esdras, which being inserted in the mighty hypothesis, like the key-stone of an arch, gives it, in their opinion, perpetual dura- bility.

Scarce, however, have they completed their goodly superstructure when in trudges a phalanx of opposite authors, with Hans de Laet, the great Dutchman, at their head, and at one blow tumbles the whole fabric about their ears. Hans, in fact, contradicts outright all the Israelitish claims to the first settlement of this country, attributing all those equivocal symptoms, and traces of Christianity and Judaism, which have been said to be found in divers provinces of the New World, to the devil, who has always affected to counterfeit the worship of the true Deity. " A remark," says the knowing oldPadred'Acosta, "made

NEW YORK. 25

by ;ill 2" nl authors who have spoken of the religion of nation< newly discovered, and founded, besides, on the authority of the fathers of the church."

Some writers, again, among whom it is with great 1 I am compelled to mention Lopez de Gomara an' I Juan de Leri, insinuate that the Canaanites, being driven from the land of promise by the Jews, >ei/.ed with such a panic that they fled, without looking lirhiml them, until, stopping to take breath, they found themselves safe in America. As they brought neither their national language, manners, nor features with them, it is supposed they left them. behind in the hurry of their flight. I cannot give my faith to this opinion.

I pass over the supposition of the learned Grotius, who. being both an ambassador and a Dutchman to bout. i~ entitled to great respect, that North America wa- peopled by a strolling company of Norwegians, and that Peru was founded by a colony from China — Manco. or Munj:o Capac, the first Incas, being him- self a Chinese. Nor shall I more than barely mention, that father Kircher ascribes the settlement of America to tin' Egyptians, Budbeck to the Scandinavians, Charron to the Gauls, Juffredus Petri to a skaiting party from l-'rieshmd, Milius to the Celtae, Marinocus the Sicilian to the Romans, Le Comte to the Phcani- eian>. 1'o-tel to the Moors, Martin d'Angleria to the Abyssinians. together with the sage surmise of De that Knulaml, Ireland, and the Orcades may contend for that honour.

Nor will I bestow any more attention or credit to the idea that. America is the fairy region ofZipangri, described by that dreaming traveller Marco Polo the Venetian : or that it comprises the visionary i-landof Atlanti-, de^-ribed by 1'lato. Neither will I stop to in\e-tLrate the heathenish assertion of Paracelsus,

26 HISTORY OF .

that each hemisphere of the globe was originally fur- nished with an Adam and Eve ; or the more flattering opinion of Dr. Romayne, supported by many nameless authorities, that Adam was of the Indian race ; or the startling conjecture of Buffon, Helvetius, and Darwin, so highly honourable to mankind, that the whole human species is accidentally descended from a re- markable family of the monkeys !

This last conjecture, I must own, came upon me very suddenly and very ungraciously. I have often beheld the clown in a pantomime, while gazing in stupid wonder at the extravagant gambols of a harle- quin, all at once electrified by a sudden stroke of the wooden sword across his shoulders. Little did I think, at such times, that it would ever fall to my lot to be treated with equal discourtesy, and that, while I was quietly beholding these grave philosophers emu- lating the eccentric transformations of the herD of pantomime, they would on a sudden turn upon me and my readers, and with one hypothetical flourish metamorphose us into beasts ! I determined from that moment not to burn my fingers with any more of ' their theories, but content myself with detailing the different methods by which they transported the descendants of these ancient and respectable monkeys to this great field of theoretical warfare.

This was done either by migrations by land or transmigrations by water. Thus Padre Joseph d' Acosta enumerates three passages by land; first, by the north of Europe; secondly, by the north of Asia; and, thirdly, by regions southward of the Straits of Magellan. The learned Grotius marches his Norwe- gians by a pleasant route across frozen rivers and arms of the sea, through Iceland, Greenland, Estoti- land, and Naremberga. And various writers, among whom are Angleria, De Hornn, and Bufibn, anxious

NEW YORK. 27

for the accommodation of these travellers, have fas- tened the two continents together by a strong chain of deductions — by which means they could pass over dry-shod. But, should even this fail, Pinkerton, that industrious old gentleman, who compiles books, and manui'aetiiri s geographies, has constructed a natural bridge lit' ice. from continent to continent, at the dis- tance of four or five miles from Behring's'Straits, for which he is entitled to the grateful thanks of all the wandering aborigines who ever did or ever will pass over it.

It is an evil much to be lamented, that none of the worthy w riters above quoted could ever commence his work, without immediately declaring hostilities against every writer who had treated of the same subji ct. In this particular, authors may be compared to a certain sagacious bird, which, in building its nest, . c to pull to pieces the nests of all the birds in it> neighbourhood. This unhappy propensity tends grievon-ly to impede the progress of sound knowledge. Theories are at best but brittle productions; and, when once committed to the stream, they should take care that, like the notable pots which were fellow voyagers, they do not crack each other.

For my part, u lien I beheld the sages I have quoted, gravely accounting for unaccountable things, and di.M-oursiiiLr thus wisely about matters for ever hidden from their eyes, like a blind man describing the gl of light, and the beauty and harmony of colours, I fell back in astonishment at the amazing extent of human ingenuity.

It', cried I to myself, these learned men can w< whole systems out of nothing, what would he their productions werethey furnished with substantial mate- rials I It' they can argue and dispute thus ingeniously about subjects beyond their knowledge, what would

28 HISTORY OF

be the profundity of their observations, did they but know what they were talking about! Should old Rhadamanthus, when he conies to decide upon their conduct while on earth, have the least idea of the usefulness of their labours, he will undoubtedly class them with those notorious wise men of Gotham, who milked a bull, twisted a rope of sand, and wove a velvet purse from a sow's ear.

My chief surprise is, that among the many writers I have noticed, no one has attempted to prove that this country was peopled from the moon — or that the first inhabitants floated hither on islands of ice, as white bears cruise about the northern oceans — or that they were conveyed hither by balloons, as modern aeronauts pass from Dover to Calais — or by witchcraft, as Simon Magus posted among the stars — or after the manner of the renowned Scythian Abaris, who, like the New England witches on full-blooded broomsticks made most unheard-of journeys on the back of a golden arrow, given him by the Hyperborean Apollo.

But there is still one mode left by which this coun- try could have been peopled, which I have reserved for the last, because I consider it worth all the rest; it is — by accident ! Speaking of the islands of Solomon, New Guinea, and New Holland, the profound father Charlevoix observes, " In fine, all these countries are peopled, and it is possible, some have been so by acci- dent* Now, if it could have happened in that manner, why might it not have been at the same time, and by the same means, with the other parts of the globe?" This ingenious mode of deducing certain conclusions from possible premises, is an improvement in syllo- gistic skill, and proves the good father superior even to Archimedes, for he can turn the world without any thing to rest his lever upon. It is only surpassed by the dexterity with which the sturdy old Jesuit in

\V YORK. 29

another place cuts the gordian knot. " Nothing,"

-ays In •. •' is more easy. The inhabitants of both

heiiii-ph. r. - an- certainly the descendants of the same

father. 1 lie e. .iiuiioii father of mankind received an

• ier from Heaven to people the world, and

accordingly it has been peopled. To bring this about

- necessary to overcome all difficulties in the

way. nml ///••// have also been overcome!" Pious

in ! IIo\v does he put all the herd of laborious tin -..ri-t- to the blush, by explaining in five words, what it has cost them volumes to prove they knew nothing about!

They have long been picking at the lock, and fret- ting at the latch, but the honest father at once unlocks the door by bursting it open; and when he has it once ajar. In \< at full liberty to pour in as many nations as he pli-ascs. This proves to a demonstration, that a little piety is better than a cart-load of philosophy,* and is a practical illustration of that scriptural pro- mi-. . •• By faith ye >hall move mountains."

,11 all the authorities here quoted, and a variety of others which I have consulted, but which are omitted through fear of fatiguing the unlearned reader, I can only draw the following conclusions, which, luckily howi-ver, are sufficient for my purpose. First, that thi> part of the world has actually been peopled (<i.\.i>.): to support which we have living proofs in the numerous tribes of Indians that inhabit it. Se- condly, that it lia> been peopled in five hundred diflfer- * nt \\ ,\ td by a cloud of authors, who, from

the po>i;iveness of their assertions, seem to have been e\e-u ;o the fact. Thirdly, that the people of

thi> country had n /•/, //,/// offathers, which, as it may not he thought much to their credit by the common run of n ader-. the less we say on the subject the

• The que.-tion, therefore, I trust, is for ever

30 HISTORY OF

CHAPTER V.

In which the Author puts a mighty Question to the Rout, by the Assistance of the Man in the Moon — which not only delivers Thousands of People from great Embarrassment, but likewise concludes this Introductory Book.

THE writer of a history may, in some respects, be likened unto an adventurous knight, who, having undertaken a perilous enterprise by-way or establish- ing his fame, feels bound in honour and chivalry to turn back for no difficulty nor hardship, and never to shrink or quail, whatever enemy he may encounter. Under this impression, I resolutely draw my pen, and fall too with might and main, at those doughty ques- tions and subtle paradoxes, which, like fiery dragons and bloody giants, beset the entrance to my history, and would fain repulse me from the very threshold. And at this moment a gigantic question has started up, which I must needs take by the beard and utterly subdue, before I can advance another step in my his- toric undertaking: but I trust this will be the last adversary I shall have to contend with, and that in the next book I shall be enabled to conduct my readers in triumph into the body of my work.

The question which has thus suddenly arisen, is, What right had the first discoverers of America to land and take possession of a country, without first gaining the consent of its inhabitants, or yielding them an adequate compensation for their territory ? — a question which has withstood many fierce assaults, and has given much distress of mind to multitudes of kind-hearted folks. And indeed, until it be totally vanquished, and put to rest, the worthy people of America can by no means enjoy the soil they inhabit, with clear right and title, and quiet, unsullied con- sciences.

NEW YORK. 31

-ource of right by which property is ac-

quired in a country, is DISCOVERY. For, as all

mankind have an equal right to any thing which has

lii-foiv been appropriated, so any nation that

di.-eovers an uninhabited country, and takes posses-

* considered as enjoying full property,

and absolute, tin (a -rionable empire therein.*

Thi* propo.-iiion being admitted, it follows clearly, that tin Europeans who first visited America, were the n-al di*e iverers of the same; nothing being ne- : v to the establishment of the fact, but simply to prove that it was totally uninhabited by man. This would at first appear to be a point of some difficulty, fur it i* well known that this quarter of 'the world abouiuU d with certain animals, that walked erect on two feet; had something of the human countenance; d i-ert iin unintelligible sounds, very much like in short, had a marvellous resemblance to human beings. But the zealous and enlightened fath'. T*. \\h> accompanied the discoverers, for the purpose of promoting the kingdom of heaven, by es- tablishing fat monasteries and bishoprics on earth, «d up this point, greatly to the satisfaction of hi> holiness the pope, and of all Christian voyagers and di*envrrrrs.

They plainly proved, (and, as there were no Indian writer* arose on the other side, the fact was consi- ! ;t- Tally admitted and established,) that the two- legged IMCI- of animals before mentioned were mere eannibal>. detestable monsters, and many of them giant*: wiiieh la*t di-seription of vagrant* ha\v. since the tiini-^ <-f (Jog, Magog, and (ioliah, been consi- dercd UN outlaw*, and have received no quarter in either lii-^t'try. e!iivalr\-. or ~i,ir_r. Ind<'i'd, even the phi-

• fir Hw, I' ,:: . ,

32 HISTORY OF

losophic Bacon declared the Americans to be people proscribed by the laws of nature, inasmuch as they had a barbarous custom of sacrificing men, and feed- ing upon man's flesh.

Nor are these all the proofs of their utter barbarism: among many other writers of discernment, Ulloa tells us, " Their imbecility is so visible that one can hardly form an idea of them different from what one has of the brutes. Nothing disturbs the tranquillity of their souls, equally insensible to disasters and to prosperity. Though half naked, they are as contented as a mo- narch in his most splendid array. Fear makes no impression on them, and respect as little." All this is furthermore supported by the authority of M. Bouguer. " It is not easy," says he, " to describe the degree of their indifference for wealth and all its advantages. One does not well know what motives to propose to them when one would persuade them to any service. It is vain to offer them money ; they answer that they are not hungry." And Vanegas confirms the whole, assuring us that " ambition they have none, and are more desirous of being thought strong than valiant. The objects of ambition with us — honour, fame, reputation, riches, posts, and dis- tinctions are unknown among them. So that this powerful spring of action, the cause of so much seeming good and real evil in the world, has no power over them. In a word, these unhappy mortals may be compared to children, in whom the develop- ment of reason is not completed."

Now, all these peculiarities, although in the unen- lightened states of Greece they would have entitled their possessors to immortal honour, as having reduced to practice those rigid and abstemious maxims, the mere talking about which acquired certain old Greeks the reputation of sages and philosophers, yet were

•A YORK. 33

they clearly proved, in thepresent instance, to betoken a most abject and hnitiiicd nature, totally beneath the human character. But the benevolent fathers, who had undertaken to turn these unhappy savages into dumb Ix 'lint of argument, advanced- still

stronger proofs; for, ascertain divines of the sixteenth ivntury, and among the rest Lullus, affirm, the Ame- rican* go naked, and have no beards! — " They have nothing." says Lullus, "of the reasonable animal, jit the mask." And even that mask was allowed to avail them but little, for it was soon found that they were of a hideous copper complexion — and, be- ing of a copper complexion, it was all the same as if

they v. in- m <jr-.( and negroes are black, "and

black," said t lie pious fathers, devoutly crossing them- -, 'L is the colour of the devil ! " Therefore, so far from being able to own property, they had no right even to personal freedom, for liberty is too ra- diant a deity to inhabit such gloomy temples. All \\hieh circumstances plainly convinced the righteous followers of C'ortes and 1'i/arro, that these miscreants had no title to the soil that they infested — that they were a perverse, illiterate, dumb, beardless, black- seed — mere wild bea-ts of the forests, and, like them, should i it her lie Mibducd or exterminated.

1'ioni the foregoing arguments, therefore, and a varii ty of others equally conclusive, which I for- bear to i numerate, it was clearly evident that this fair quarter of the globe, when first visited by Euro- pean-, was a howling wilderness, inhabited by nothing but wild bea.-ts; and that the transatlantic visiters acquind an incontrovertible property therein, Li/ t/ir try.

This right being fully established. \\e now coineto the next, \\hich is the right acquired b\ ntftirtttiun. •• The cultivation of the soil, ' we are told " is an

34 HISTORY OF

obligation imposed by nature on mankind. The whole world is appointed for the nourishment of its inhabi- tants : but it would be incapable of doing it, was it uncultivated. Every nation is, then, obliged by the law of nature to cultivate the ground that has fallen to its share. Those people, like the ancient Germans and modern Tartars, who, having fertile countries, disdain to cultivate the earth, and choose to live by rapine, are wanting to themselves, and deserve to be exterminated as savage and pernicious beasts."*

Now, it is notorious that the savages knew nothing of agriculture, when first discovered by the Euro- peans, but lived a most vagabond, disorderly, un- righteous life, rambling from place to place, and pro- digally rioting upon the spontaneous luxuries of na- ture, without tasking her generosity to yield them any thing more ; whereas it has been most unques- tionably shown, that Heaven intended the earth should be ploughed, and sown, and manured, and laid out into cities, and towns, and farms, and country seats, and pleasure-grounds, and public gardens, all Avhich the Indians knew nothing about — therefore they did not improve the talents Providence had bestowed on them — therefore they were careless stewards — therefore they had no right to the soil — therefore they deserved to be exterminated.

It is true the savages might plead that they drew all the benefits from the land which their simple wants required; they found plenty of game to hunt, which, together with the roots and uncultivated fruits of the earth, furnished a sufficient variety for their frugal repasts ; and that, as Heaven merely designed the earth to form the abode and satisfy the wants of man, so long as those purposes were answered, the will of Heaven was accomplished. But this only * Vattel, b. i. c. 17. See likewise Grotius, Puffendorf, &c.

\V YORK. '•':•>

pro\v< how undeserving they were of the blessing* around tin-in — they were so much tlie more savages, for not having more wants; for knowledge is, in some

.'. an increase of desires, and it is this superiority both in tin- number and magnitude of his desires, that distinguishes the man from the beast Therefore the Indians, in not having more wants, were very unrea- sonable animals; and it was but just that they should make way for the Europeans, who had a thousand wants to their one, and therefore would turn the earth to more account, and by cultivating it, more truly fulfil the will of Heaven. Besides, Grotius, and rbach, and Puffendorf, and Titius, and many

men beside, who have considered the matter properly, have determined, that the property of a country cannot be acquired by hunting, cutting wood, or drawing water in it — nothing but precise demarca- tion of limits, and the intention of cultivation, can

lisli the possession. Now, as the savages (pro- bably from never having read the authors above ojiiot' <1 i had never complied with any of these neces-

t'onns. it plainly followed that they had no right to tin ~..il, but that it was completely at the disposal of the first comers, who had more knowledge, more wants, and more elegant, that is to say, artificial desires, than themselves.

In entering upon a newly-discovered uncultivated country, therefore, the new comers were but taking po»- Bsion of what, according to the aforesaid doc- trine, was their own property — therefore, in opposing them, the BBvagCfl \\ere invading their just rights, infringing the immutable la\\> of nature, and coun-

'inir the will of Heaven — therefore they were guilty of impiety, burizlaiy, and trespass on the ca therefore th.-y \\.re hardened offenders against (iod and III:MI — then-fore they ought to be exterminated. ' i) '2

36 HISTORY OF

But a more irresistible right than either that I have mentioned, and one which will be the most readily admitted by my reader, provided he be blessed with bowels of charity and philanthropy, is the right acquired by civilization. All the world knows the lamentable state in which these poor savages were found. Not only deficient in- the comforts of life, but, what is still worse, most piteously and unfortunately blind to the miseries of their situation. But, no sooner did the benevolent inhabitants of Europe behold their sad condition, than they immediately went to work to ameliorate and improve it. They introduced among them rum, gin, brandy, and the other comforts of life; and it is astonishing to read how soon the poor savages learnt to estimate these blessings ; they like- wise made known to them a thousand remedies, by which the most inveterate diseases are alleviated and healed; and, that they might comprehend the benefits and enjoy the comforts of these medicines, they pre- viously introduced among them the diseases which they were calculated to cure. By these, and a variety of other methods, was the condition of these poor savages wonderfully improved ; they acquired a thou- sand wants of which they had before been ignorant ; and, as he has most sources of happiness who has most wants to be gratified, they were doubtlessly rendered a much happier race of beings.

But the most important branch of civilization, and which has most strenuously been extolled by the zealous and pious fathers of the Romish Church, is the introduction of the Christian faith. It was truly a sight that might well inspire horror, to behold these savages, stumbling among the dark mountains of paganism, and guilty of the most horrible ignorance of religion. It is true, they neither stole nor defrauded ; they were sober, frugal, continent, and faithful to

M.W \OKK. 37

their word; hut though they acted right habitually, it was all in vain, unless they acted so from precept. The

somere, therefore, used every method to induce them to embrace and practise the true religion, except, indeed, that of setting them the example.

Uut notwithstanding all these complicated labours for their good, such was the unparalleled obstinacy of

-tuhhorn wretches, that they ungratefully refused to acknowledge the Grangers as their benefactors, and per-i-ted in disbelieving the doctrines they endea- voured to inculcate; most insolently alleging, that from their conduct, the advocates of Christianity did not M -em to believe in it themselves. Was not this too much for human patience? Would not one suppose, that the benign visitants from Europe, pro- . voked at their incredulity, and discouraged by their stiff-necked obstinacy, would for ever have abandoned their shores, and consigned them to their original ignorance and misery? But no; so zealous were they to elfeet the temporal comfort and eternal salva- tion of the-' |i;i','an infidels, that they even proceeded from the milder means of persuasion to the more painful and troublesome one of persecution — let loose among them whole troops of fiery monks and furious bloodhounds — purified them by fire and sword, by stake and fagirot ; in consequence of which indefati- gable measures, the cause of Christian loveand charity \\a- M) rapidly advanced that, in a very few years, not one-fifth of the number of unbelievers existed in South America, that were found there at the time of its discovery.

What .-tronger right need the European settler-, advance to the country than this? Have not whole nations of uninformed savages been made acquainted with a thousand imperious wants and indispensable comfort-, of which they w< r. before wholly ignorant > Have- they not been literally hunted and smoked out

38 HISTORY OF

of the dens and lurking-places of ignorance and infi- delity, and absolutely scourged into the right path? Have not the temporal things, the vain baubles and filthy lucre of this world, which were too apt to engage their worldly and selfish thoughts, been benevolently taken from them? and have they not, instead thereof, been taught to set their affections on things above? And, finally, to use the words of a reverend Spanish father, in a letter to his superior in Spain, " Can any one have the presumption to say, that these savage Pagans have yielded any thing more than an incon- siderable recompense to their benefactors, in surren- dering to them a little pitiful tract of this dirty sub- lunary planet, in exchange for a glorious inheritance in the kingdom of heaven !"

Here, then, are three complete and undeniable sources of right established, any one of which was more than ample to establish a property in the newly-dis- covered regions of America. Now, so it has happened in certain parts of this delightful quarter of the globe, that the right of discovery has been so strenuously asserted, the influence of cultivation so industriously extended, and the progress of salvation and civilization so zealously prosecuted, that, what with their attend- ant wars, persecutions, oppressions, diseases, and other partial evils that often hang on the skirts of great benefits, the savage aborigines have, some how or another, been utterly annihilated : and this all at once brings me to a fourth right, which is worth all the others put together; for the original claimants to the soil being all dead and buried, and no one remaining to inherit or dispute the soil, the Spaniards, as the next immediate occupants, entered upon the possession as clearly as the hangman succeeds to the clothes of the malefactor: and, as they have Blackstone,* and all the learned expounders of the law on their side, * Bl. Com. b. ii. c. 1.

M.\V YORK. 39

they may set all actions of ejectment at defiance; and this la-t ri<_'ht may be entitled the RIGHT BY ••; MIV \TIOX, or, in other words, the RIGHT BY .•\\ i.i u.

Hut, le.-t any scruples of conscience should remain on this lu -ad. and to settle the question of right for his holiness Pope Alexander VI. issued a mighty hull, by which he generously granted the newly-dis- co\.ivd quarter of the globe to the Spaniards and IVrtiiiriK •>»•; who, thus having law and gospel on their -id.-, and bt ing inflamed with great spiritual zeal, showed the pagan savages neither favour nor affection, but prosecuted the work of discovery, colonization, civilization, and extermination, with ten times more fury than ever.

Thus \v< re the European worthies who first dis- . i d America clearly entitled to the soil; and not only entitled to the soil, but likewise to the eternal thanks of tln-se infidel savages, for having come so far, endured so many perils by sea and land, and taken such unwearied pains, for no other purpose but to improve their forlorn, uncivilized, and heathenish condition ; for having made them acquainted with the cum forts of life; for having introduced among them the light of religion; and, finally, for having hurried them out of the world, to enjoy its reward I

l>ut, as argument is never so well understood by us >elfish mortals, us when it conns home to ourselves, and a- I am particularly anxious that this question should be put to rest for ever, I will suppose a parallel by way of arou-in^r the candid attention of my readers.

Let us suppose, then, that the inhabitants of the moon, by astonishing advancement in science, and by a profound insight into that ineffable lunar philosophy, the im re Hickciint:- of M Inch have uf late years dazzled

40 HISTORY OF

the feeble optics, and addled the shallow brains of the good people of our globe — let us suppose, I say, that the inhabitants of the moon, by these means, had arrived at such a command of their energies, such an enviable state of perfectibility, as to control the ele- ments, and navigate the boundless regions of space. Let us suppose a roving crew of these soaring phi- losophers, in the course of an aerial voyage, of dis- covery among the stars, should chance to alight upon this outlandish planet.

And here I beg my readers will not have the un- charitableness to smile, as is too frequently the fault of volatile readers, when perusing the grave specula- tions of philosophers. I am far from indulging in any sportive vein at present; nor is the supposition I have been making so wild as many may deem it. It has long been a very serious and anxious question with me, and many a time and oft, in the course of my overwhelming cares and contrivances for the wel- fare and protection of this my native planet, have I lain awake whole nights, debating in my mind, whe- ther it were most probable we should first discover and civilize the moon, or the moon discover and civilize our globe. Neither would the prodigy of sailing in the air and cruising among the stars be a whit more astonishing and incomprehensible to us, than was the European mystery of navigating floating castles through the world of waters, to the simple savages. We have already discovered the art of coasting along the aerial shores of our planet, by means of balloons, as the savages had of venturing along their sea-coasts in canoes; and the disparity between the former, and the aerial vehicles of the philosophers from the moon, might not be greater than that between the bark canoes of the savages and the mighty ships of their discoverers. I might here

'.V YORK. 41

pursue an endless chain of similar speculations; but as they would be unimportant to my subject, I abandon them to my reader, particularly if he be a philosopher, as matters \\dl \\urtliyhis attentive consideration.

To return, then, to my supposition. Let us suppose that the ai:rial visitants I have mentioned, possessed

-tly superior knowledge to ourselves; that is to ssed of superior knowledge in the art of extermination — riding on hippogriffs — defended with unpenetrable armour — armed with concentrated sun- beams, and provided with vast engines to hurl enor- mous moonstones: in short, let us suppose them, if our vanity will permit the supposition, as superior to

knowledge, and consequently in power, as the Europeans were to the Indians when they first dis-

• d them. All this is very possible; it is only our self-sufficiency that makes us think otherwise ; ami 1 warrant the poor savages, before they had any knowledge of the white men, armed in all the terrors of glittering steel and tremendous gunpowder, were as perfectly convinced that they themselves were the

t, the most virtuous, powerful, and perfect of created brings, as are, at this present moment, the lordly inhabitants of Old England, the volatile popu- lace of France, or even the self-satisfied citizens of this most enlightened republic.

I ; us suppose, moreover, that the aerial voyagers, finding thi> planet to be nothing but a howling wilder- ness, inhabited by us poor savages and wild beasts, shall take formal possession of it, in the name of his ino>t gnu-ion* ami philosophic excellency, the man in the moon, landing, however, that their numbers are incompetent to hold it in complete subjection, on account of the ferocious barbarity of its inhabitants, they shall take our worthy President, the King of

md. the Kmpen.r of Hayti, the mighty Buona-

42 HISTORY OF

parte, and the greatrKing of Bantam, and, returning to their native planet, shall carry them to court, as were the Indian chiefs led about as spectacles in the courts of Europe.

Then making such obeisance as the etiquette of the court requires, they shall address the puissant man in the moon, in, as near as I can conjecture, the follow- ing terms : —

" Most serene and mighty Potentate, whose domi- nions extend as far as eye can reach, who rideth on the Great Bear, useth the sun as a looking-glass, and maintaineth unrivalled control over tides, madmen, and sea-crabs. We, thy liege subjects, have just returned from a voyage of discovery, in the course of which we have landed and taken possession of that obscure little dirty planet, which thou beholdest rolling at a distance. The five uncouth monsters, which we have brought into this august presence, were once very important chiefs among their fellow savages, who are a race of beings totally destitute of the common attributes of humanity; and differing in every thing from the inha- bitants of the moon, inasmuch as they carry their heads upon their shoulders, instead of under their arms, have two eyes [instead of one, are utterly des- titute of tails, and of a variety of unseemly com- plexions, particularly of a horrible whiteness, instead of pea-green.

" We have, moreover, found these miserable savages sunk into a state of the utmost ignorance and depra- vity, every man shamelessly living with his own wife and rearing his own children, instead of indulging in that community of wives enjoined by the law of nature, as expounded by the philosophers of the moon. In a word, they have scarcely a gleam of true philosophy among them, but are, in fact, utter heretics, ignora- muses, and barbarians. Taking compassion, therefore,

M.W YORK. 43

on tin -ad condition of these sublunary wretches. \\. have endeavoured, while we remained on their planet, to introduce among them the light of reason, and the comforts of the moon. We have treated them to immtliluU <it iimuii>hine,and draughtsof nitrous oxide, which they swallowed with incredible voracity, parti- cularly the females ; and we have likewise endeavoured to instil into them the precepts of lunar philosophy. \\ e have in-isted upon their renouncing the con- temptible -h.ickles of religion and common sense, and adoring the profound, omnipotent, and all-perfect i IK ri:y, and the ecstatic, immutable, immovable per- fection. But such was the unparalleled obstinacy of the.-c- wretched savages, that they persisted in cleaving to their wives and adhering to their religion, and alxolut( ly set at nought the sublime doctrines of the moon; nay, among other abominable heresies, they even \\-nt so far as blasphemously to declare, that tlii- ineffable planet was made of nothing more nor Ii — than green cheese !"

At these words, the great man in the moon (being a very profound philosopher) shall fall into a terrible passion, and, possessing equal authority over things that do not belong to him, as did whilome his holiness the pope, shall forthwith issue a formidable bull, specifying, " That whereas a certain crew of lunatics have lately discovered and taken possession of a newly - discovered planet, called the earth; and that whereas it i- inhabited \>\ none but a race of two-legged animals that carry their heads on their shoulders instead of under their arms, cannot talk the lunatic language, have two eyes instead of one, are destitute of tails, and of a horrible whiteness, instead of pea-grei n ; therefore, and for a variety of other excellent reasons, they are coi,>idcred incapable of possessing any pro- perty in the plaint they infest, and the right and title

44 HISTORY OF

to it are confirmed to its original discoverers. And furthermore, the colonists who are now about to depart to the aforesaid planet, are authorized and commanded to use every means to convert these infidel savages from the darkness of Christianity, and make them thorough and absolute lunatics."

In consequence of this benevolent bull, our philo- sophic benefactors go to work with hearty zeal. They seize upon our fertile territories, scourge us from our rightful possessions, relieve us from our wives; and, when we are unreasonable enough to complain, they will turn upon us and say, "Miserable barbarians ! un- grateful wretches! have we not come thousands of miles to improve your worthless planet? have we not fed you with moonshine? have we not intoxicated you with nitrous oxide? does not our moon give you light every night? and, have you the baseness to murmur, when we claim a pitiful return for all these benefits?" But finding that we not only persist in abso- lute contempt of their reasoning, and disbelief in their philosophy, but even go so far as daringly to defend our property, their patience shall be exhausted, and they shall resort to their superior powers of argument — hunt us with hippogriffs, transfix us with concen- trated sun-beams, demolish our cities with moon- stones; until, having by main force converted us to the true faith, they shall graciously permit us to exist in the torrid deserts of Arabia, or the frozen regions of Lapland, there to enjoy the blessings of civilization and the charms of lunar philosophy — in much the same manner as the reformed and enlightened savages of this country are kindly suffered to inhabit the in- hospitable forests of the north, or the impenetrable wildernesses of South America.

Thus, I hope I have clearly proved, and strikingly illustrated, the right of the early colonists to the pos-

M.W YORK. 4->

session of this country; and thus is this gigantic ques- tion complett ly vanquished: so, having manfully sur- iiiouiitcil all obstacles, and subdued all opposition, what remain* but that I should forthwith conduct my readers into the city, which we have been so long in a in mm i lii-iciring? But hold — before I proceed another step. I must pause to take breath and recover from tin excessive fatigue I have undergone, in pre- paring to beL'in this most accurate of histories. And in this I do but imitate the example of a renowned Dutch tumbler of antiquity, who took a start of three miles for the purpose of jumping over a hill; but having run himself out of breath by the time he reached the foot, sat himself quietly down for a few moments to blow, and then walked over it at his leisure.

END OF BOOK FIRST.

46 HISTORY OF

BOOK II.

TREATING OF THE FIRST SETTLEMENT OF THE PROVINCE (If JflEUW NEDEHLANDTS.

CHAPTER I.

In which are contained divers Reasons why a Man should not write in a hurry — Also of Master Hendrick Hudson, his Dis- covery of a strange Country — and how he was magnificently rewarded by the Munificence of their High Mightinesses.

MY great-grandfather, by the mother's side, Herma- nus Van Clattercop, when employed to build the large stone church at Rotterdam, which stands about three hundred yards to your left, after you turn off from the Boomkeys; and which is so conveniently constructed that all the zealous Christians of Rotterdam prefer sleeping through a sermon there, to any other church in the city. My great-grandfather, I say, when em- ployed to build that famous church, did in the first place send to Delft for a box of long pipes; then, having purchased a new spitting-box and a hundred-weight of the best Virginia, he sat himself down and did nothing for the space of three months but smoke most labo- riously. Then did he spend full three months more in trudging on foot, and voyaging in the trekschuit from Rotterdam to Amsterdam — to Delft — to Haerlem — to Leyden — to the Hague, knocking his head, and break- ing his pipe against every church in his road. Then did he advance gradually nearer and nearer to Rotterdam, until he came in full sight of the identical spot whereon

N 1 W YORK. 47

tin- church was to be built. Then did he spend three months longer in walking round it and round it; contemplating it, first from one point of view, and th«vn from another; now would he be paddled by it on the canal ; now would he peep at it through a ti It Mope, from t lie other side of the Meuse ; and now would he take, a bird's-eye glance at it, from the top of one of those gigantic windmills, which protect the gates of the citv. The good folks of the place were on the tiptoe of expectation and impatience ; notwith- standing all the turmoil of my great-grandfather, not a symptom of the church was yet to be seen ; they even began to fear it would never be brought into the world, but that its great projector would lie down and die in labour of the mighty plan he had conceived. At length, having occupied twelve good months in putting and puddling, and talking and walking, hav- ing tia\< ilcil o\er all Holland, and even taken a peep into 1 ranee and Germany: having smoked five hun- divd and ninety-nine pipes, and three hundred weight of the best Virginia tobacco; my great-grandfather gathen d together all that knowing and industrious <l;i-- of eiti/.-n-, who prefer attending to any body's biisine-s sooner than their own, and, having pulled off' his coat and live pair of breeches, he advanced sturdily i»|>. and laid the corner-stone of the church, in the pn sence of the whole multitude, just at the eoiiiini iiei inent of the thirteenth month.

In a similar manner, and with the example of my worthy ancestor full before my eyes, have I proceeded in \\riting this most authentic history. The honest Kottenlammers no doubt thought my great-grand- father was doing nothing at all to the purpose, while lie wa< making Midi a world of prefatory Itu-llc about the building of his elmreh ; and many of the inge- nious inhabitants of this fair city will unquestionably

48 HISTORY OF

suppose that all the preliminary chapters, with the discovery, population, and final settlement of Ame- rica, were totally irrelevant and superfluous ; and that the main business, the History of New York, is not a jot more advanced than if I had never taken up my pen. Never were wise people more mistaken in their conjectures. In consequence of going to work slowly and deliberately, the church came out of my grandfather's hands one of the most sumptuous, goodly, and glorious edifices in the known world ; ex- cepting that, like our magnificent capitol at Wash- ington, it wras begun on so grand a scale that the good folks could not afford to finish more than the wing of it. So likewise, I trust, if ever I am enabled to finish this work on the plan I have commenced (of which, in simple truth, I sometimes have my doubts,) it will be found, that I have pursued the latest rules of my art, as exemplified in the writings of all the great American historians, and wrought a very large history out of a small subject, which now-a-days is considered one of the great triumphs of historic skill. To proceed, then, with the thread of my story.

In the ever-memorable year of our Lord, 1609, on a Saturday morning, the five-and-twentitth day of March, old style, did that " worthy and irrecoverable discoverer (as he has justly been called,) Master Henry Hudson," set sail for Holland in a stout vessel called the Half Moon, being employed by the Dutch East India Company, to seek a north-west passage to China.

Henry (or, as the Dutch historians call him, Hen- drick) Hudson was a seafaring man of renown, who had learned to smoke tobacco under Sir Walter Raleigh, and is said to have been the first to intro- duce it into Holland ; which gained him much popu- larity in that country, and caused him to find great

NEW YORK. 49

favour in the eyes of their High Mightinesses, the lord- :ieral, and also of the honourable West

India C'ompat.y. He was a short, square, brawny old gentleman, with a double chin, a mastiff mouth, and a broad copper nose, which was supposed in those day-; to have acquired its fiery hue from the constant neighbourhood of his tobacco-pipe.

II' wore a true Andrea Ferrara tucked in a lea- thern belt, and a commodore's cocked hat on one side of his head. Hi was remarkable for always jerking uj> his breeches when Le gave out his orders, and his voice sounded not unlike the brattling of a tin trum- pet, owing to the number of hard north-westers which he had swallowed in the course of his seafaring.

Such was Hendrick Hudson, of whom we have heard so much, and know so little ; and I have been thus particular in his description, for the benefit of modern painters and statuaries, that they may repre- iiim as he was; and not, according to their com- mon custom, with modern heroes, make him look like r, or .Marcus Aurelius, or the Apollo of Belvi- d( re.

As chief mate and favourite companion, the com- modore chose Master Uolx rt Juet, of Limehouse, in Knirlatid. By some his name has been spelled Chewit, ami a-crilx (1 to the circumstance of his having been the first man that ever chewed tobaoco ; but this I believe to be a mere flippancy; more especially as certain of his progeny are living at this day, who write their names Juet. He was an old comrade and early schoolmate of the great Hudson, with whom he had often played truant and sailed chip boats in a neighbouring pond, when they were little boys; from whence it is said the commodore first derived his bias towards a seafaring life. Certain it is, that tint old people about Limehouse declared Robert Juet to I

.50 HISTORY OF

be an unlucky urchin, prone to mischief, that would one day or other come to the gallows.

He grew up as boys of that kind often grow up, a rambling heedless varlet, tossed about in all quarters of the world — meeting with more perils and wonders than did Sinbad the sailor, without growing a whit more wise, prudent, or ill-natured. Under every mis- fortune he comforted himself with a quid of tobacco, and the truly philosophic maxim, that "it will be all the same thing a hundred years hence." He was skilled in the art of carving anchors and true lovers' knots on the bulk-heads and quarter-railings, and was considered a great wit on board ship, in conse- quence of his playing pranks on every body around, and now and then even making a wry face at old Hendrick, when his back was turned.

To this universal genius are we indebted for many particulars concerning this voyage, of which he wrote a history, at the request of the commodore, who had an unconquerable aversion to writing himself, from having received so many floggings about it when at school. To supply the deficiencies of Master Juet's journal, which is written with true log-book brevity, I have availed myself of divers family traditions, handed down from my great-great-grandfather, who accompanied the expedition in the capacity of cabin- boy.

From all that I can learn, few incidents worthy of remark happened in the voyage ; and it mortifies me exceedingly, that I have to admit so noted an expedi- tion into my work, without making any more of it. Oh ! that I had the advantages of that most authentic writer of yore, Apollonius Rliodius, who, in his account of the famous Argonautic expedition, has the whole mythology at his disposal, and elevates Jason and his compeers into heroes and demigods, although all the

NEW YORK. M

world knows them to have bt < n a mere gang of sheep- >tcahi> on a marauding expedition; or that 1 had the privileges of Dan Homer and Dan Virgil, to enliven in y narration with giants and Lystrigonians; to enter- tain our honest mariners with an occasional concert of .-in us and mermaids and now and then with the raree->ho\\ i.f honest old Neptune and his fleet of fro- licsome cruisers. But, alas! the good old times have long gone by, when your waggish deities would descend upon this terraqueous globe, in their own proper per-on-, and play their pranks upon its wondering inhabitants.

Suffice it, then, to say, the voyage was prosperous and tranquil — the crew being a patient people, much given to Clumber and vacuity, and but little troubled with the di-( ase of thinking — a malady of the mind, which i> the sure breeder of discontent. Hudson had lain in an abundance of gin and sour crout, and every man \\as allowed to sleep quietly at his post, unless the wind blew. True it is, some slight dissatisfaction was shown on two or three occasions, at certain un- •nable conduct of Commodore Hudson. Thus. f->r instance, he forbore to shorten sail when the wind was light, and the weather serene, which was con- sidered among the most experienced Dutch seamen, as certain m«atk*r-br*ed«rt, or prognostics, that the w rather would change for the worse. He acted, moreover, in direct contradiction to that ancient and sage rule of the Dutch navigators, who always took in sail at night, put the helm aport, and turned in; by which precaution they had a good night's rest, w i iv sure of know ing where they were the next morn- ing, and -tc.nl but little chance of running down .1 continent in the dark. He likewi-e prohibited the seamen from wearing more than li\e jacket-, and -i\ pair of 1. mder pretence of n nderiii',' them

Oa HISTORY OF

more alert; and no man was permitted to go aloft and hand in sails with a pipe in his mouth, as is the in- variable Dutch custom at the present day. All these grievances, though they might ruffle for a moment the constitutional tranquillity of the honest Dutch tars, made but transient impression ; they ate hugely, drank profusely, and slept immeasurably; and, being under the especial guidance of Providence, the ship was safely conducted to the coast of America; where, after sundry unimportant touchings and standings off and on, she at length, on the fourth day of September, en- tered that majestic bay, which at this day expands its ample bosom before the city of New York, and which had never before been visited by any European.*

* True it is, and I am not ignorant of the fact, that in a certain apocryphal book of voyages, compiled by one Hackluy t, is to be found a letter written to Francis the First by one Giovanni, or John Verazzani, on which some writers are inclined to found a belief that this delightful bay had been visited nearly a century previous to the voyage of the enterprising Hudson. Now, this (albeit it has met with the countenance of certain very judicious and learned men) I hold in utter disbelief, and that for various good and substantial reasons. First, Because, on strict examina- tion, it will be found that the description given by this Verazzani applies about as well to the bay of New York as it does to my nightcap. Secondly, Because that this John Verazzani, for whom I already begin to feel a most bitter enmity, is a native of Flo- rence ; and every body knows the crafty wile of these lose! Flo- rentines, by which they filched away the laurels from the brows of theimmortal Colon (vulgarly called Columbus,) and bestowed them on their officious townsman, Amerigo Vespucci; and I make no doubt they are equally ready to rob the illustrious Hudson of the credit of discovering this beauteous island, adorned by the city of New York, and placing it beside their usurped discovery of South America. And, thirdly, I award my decision in favour of the pretensions of Hendrick Hudson, in- asmuch as his expedition sailed from Holland, being truly and absolutely a Dutch enterprise; and, though all the proofs in the world were introduced on the other side, I would set them at nought, as undeserving my attention. If these three reasons

NEW YORK. 53

It has been traditionary in our family, that when tin- great navigator was first blessed with a view of this enchanting island, lie was observed, for the first and only time in his life, to exhibit strong symptoms of astonishment and admiration. He is said to have turned to .Master Juet, and uttered these remarkable words, while he pointed towards this paradise of the new world — "See! there!" — and thereupon, as was always hi- u ay when he was uncommonly pleased, he did putt' out such clouds of dense tobacco-smoke that in one minute the vessel was out of sight of land, and M .-I r.lm t was fain to wait until the winds dispersed thi- impenetrable fog.

It was indeed, as my great-great-grandfather used y — though in truth I never heard him, for he died, as might be expected, before I was born — "It \\..-. indeed, a spot on which the eye might have r« vi lied for ever, in ever new and never-ending beauties." The island of Manna-hata spread wide before them, like some sweet vision of fancy, or some fair creation of industrious magic. Its hills of smiling green swelled gently one above another, crowned with lul'ty trees of luxuriant growth; some pointing their tapering foliage towards the clouds, which were glo- riously transparent; and others loaded with a verdant burden of clambering vines, bowing their branches to the earth, that was covered with flowers. On the gentle declivities of the hills were scattered in gay profusion, the dog-wood, the sumach, and the wild brier, whose scarlet berries and white blossoms glowed brightly among the deep green of the surrounding

be not sufficient to satisfy every luirjjher of this ancient city, all I can say is, they are degenerate descendants from their \i-iii-r.il>l<- Hutch ancestors, and totally unworthy the- trouble of -iii^. Tims, thcrcl'tirc. the title of Hi-ndrick 1 1 ml <>n '" WMd discovery is fully vindicated.

54 HISTORY Of

foliage; and, here and there a curling column of smoke, rising from the little glens that opened along the shore, seemed to promise the weary voyagers a welcome at the hands of their fellow-creatures. As they stood gazing with entranced attention on the scene before them, a red man, crowned with feathers, issued from one of these glens, and, after contem- plating in silent wonder the gallant ship, as she sat like a stately swan swimming on a silver lake, sounded the war-whoop, and bounded into the woods like a wild deer, to the utter astonishment of the phlegmatic Dutchmen, who had never heard such a noise, or witnessed such a caper in their whole lives.

Of the transactions of our adventurers with the savages, and how the latter smoked copper pipes and ate dried currants; how they brought great store of tobacco and oysters; how they shot one of the ship's crew, and how he was buried, I shall say nothing; being that I consider them unimportant to my his- tory. After tarrying a few days in the bay, in order to refresh themselves after their seafaring, our voyagers weighed anchor, to explore a mighty river which emp- tied into the bay. This river, it is said, was known among the savages by the name of the Shalemuck ; though we are assured, in an excellent little history published in 1674, by John Josselyn, Gent., that it was called the Mohegan,* and Master Richard Bloome, who wrote some time afterwards, asserts the same; so that I very much incline in favour of the opinion of these two honest gentlemen. Be this as it may, up this river did the adventurous Hendrick pro- ceed, little doubting but it would turn out to be the much looked-for passage to China!

The journal goes on to make mention of divers

* This river is likewise laid down in Ogilvy's map, as Man- hattan, Noordt, Montaigne, and Mauritius river.

\V YORK. 55

intcrvit ws between the crew and the natives, in the voyage up the river; but as they would be impertim nf to n.y hi-tiiry, I shall pass over them in silence,

i>t tin- following dry joke, played off by the old commodore ami his schoolfellow Robert Juet; which

-iii-h \.i-t credit to their experimental philosophy, that 1 cannot refrain from inserting it. "Our master and his mate determined to try some of the chiefe men of the countrcy, whether they had any treacherie in them. So th< y tooke them downe into the cabin, and gave them so much wine and acqua vitae that they were all inerrie; and one of them had his wife with him, which sate so modestly, as any of our countrey- w omen would do in a strange place. In the end, one of them was drunke, which had been aboarde of our ship all the time we had beene there, and that was strange to them, for they could not tell how to take it."*

Having -.atisfied himself by this ingenious experi- ment, that the natives were an honest, social race of jolly n.\>ter-. \\ ho had no objection to a drinking- bout, and were very merry in their cups, the old com- modore chuckled hugely to himself, and, thrusting a double (juid of tobacco in his cheek, directed Master Juet to have it carefully recorded, for the satisfaction of all the natural philosophers of the university of

• •n; which done, he proceeded on his voyage with great self-complacency. After sailing, however, above a hundred miles up the river, he found the \\att iv \\oiM around him began to grow more shallow and confined, the current more rapid, and perfectly fre-h — phenomena not uncommon in the ascent of rivers, but which pu/./.led the holiest Dutchman pro- digioiuly. A consultation was therefore called; and, having deliberated full six hour-, they Mere brought * Juet's Jouni. I'urvh. Til.

56 HISTORY OF

to a determination by the ship's running aground; whereupon they unanimously concluded, that there was but little chance of getting to China in that direc- tion. A boat, however, was despatched to explore higher up the river, which on its return confirmed the opinion : upon this the ship was warped off and put about with great difficulty, being, like most of her sex, exceedingly hard to govern; and the adventurous Hudson, according to the account of my great-great- grandfather, returned down the river — with a prodi- gious flea in his ear!

Being satisfied that there was little likelihood of getting to China, unless, like the blind man, he returned from whence he set out, and took a fresh start, he forthwith re-crossed the sea to Holland, where he was received with great welcome by the honourable East India Company, who were very much rejoiced to see him come back safe — with their ship; and, at a large and respectable meeting of the first merchants and burgomasters of Amsterdam, it \vas unanimously determined that, as a munificent reward for the eminent services he had performed, and the important discovery he had made, the great river Mohegan should be called after his name ! and it con- tinues to be called Hudson river unto this very day.

CHAPTER II.

Containing an Account of a mighty Ark which floated, under the Protection of -St. Nicholas, from Holland to Gibbet Island — The Descent of the strange Animals therefrom — A great Victory, and a Description of the ancient Village of Com- munipaw.

THE delectable accounts given by the great Hudson and Master Juet, of the country they had discovered,

NEW YORK. 57

excited not a little talk and speculation among the good people of Holland. Letters patent were granted liv govern mer.t to an association of merchants, called tin* \\ i >t India Company, for the exclusive trade on Hudson river, on which they erected a trading-house called Fort Aurania, or Orange, from whence did spring tin- gnat city of Albany. But I forbear to dwell on the various commercial and colonizing enter- prises which took place; among which was that of Mynheer Adrian Block, who discovered and gave a name t<> Block Island, since famous for its cheese — and shall barely confine myself to that which gave birth to thi> renowned city.

It was some three or four years after the return of the immortal Hcndrick, that a crew of honest Low Dutch colonists set sail from the city of Amsterdam for the shores of America. It is an irreparable loss to hi>tmy. and a great proof of the darkness of the .Hid the lamentable neglect of the noble art of hook-iiiakin<r, MUCC so industriously cultivated by knowing >< a captain>, and learned supercargoes, that an expedition so interesting and important in its results, should be passed over in utter silence. To my givat-j:reat-grandfather am I again indebted for the f < w facts I am enabled to give concerning it ; he having once more embarked for this country, with a full determination, as he said, of ending his days here, and of begetting a race of Knickerbockers that should rise to be great men in the land.

The ship in which these illustrious adventurers set sail was called the Goede Vrouw, or Good Woman, in compliment to tin wife of the president of the West India Company, who was allowed by everybody (^except her Im-band) to be a sweet-tempered lady, when not in liquor. It was in truth a most gallant

58 HISTORY OF

vessel, of the most approved Dutch construction, and made by the ablest ship-carpenters of Amsterdam, who, it is well known, always model their ships after the fair forms of their countrywomen. Accordingly, it had one hundred feet in the beam, one hundred feet in the keel, and one hundred feet from the bottom of the stern-post to the tafferel. Like the beauteous model, who was declared to be the greatest belle in Amsterdam, it was full in the bows, with a pair of enormous cat-heads, a copper bottom, and withal, a most prodigious poop !

The architect, who was somewhat of a religious man, far from decorating the ship with pagan idols, such as Jupiter, Neptune, or Hercules (which heathenish abominations, I have no doubt, occasion the misfor- tunes and shipwreck of many a noble vessel;) he, I say, on the contrary, did laudably erect for a head, a goodly image of St. Nicholas, equipped with a low broad-brimrned hat, a huge pair of Flemish trunk hose, and a pipe that reached to the end of the bowsprit. Thus gallantly furnished, the staunch ship floated sideways, like a majestic goose, out of the harbour of the great city of Amsterdam ; and all the bells that were not otherwise engaged, rung a triple bob-major on the joyful occasion.

My great-great-grandfather remarks, that the voy- age was uncommonly prosperous; for, being under the especial care of the ever-revered St. Nicholas, the Goede Vrouw seemed to be endowed with qualities unknown to common vessels. Thus, she made as much lee-way as head-way, could get along very nearly as fast with the wind ahead as when it was apoop, and was particularly great in a calm ; in con- sequence of which singular advantages, she made out to accomplish her voyage in a very few months, and

NEW YORK. 59

came to anchor at tin- month of the Hudson, a little to the ea>t of ( iiblx t I-I;md.*

Hi re lifting up their eyes they beheld, on what is at pn-si nt called the Jersey shore, a small Indian vil- nleasantly embowered in a grove of spreading rims, ;m<l the native-, all collected on the beach, gazing in >tupid admiration at the Goede Vrouw. at \vas immediately despatched to enter into a treaty with them. ami. approaching the shore, hailed tin in through a trumpet in the most friendly terms; hut --o horribly confounded were these poor savages at the tremendous and uncouth sound of the Low Dutch language, that they one and all took to their -Mpered over the Bcrgcn hills, nor did they stop until they had buried themselves, head and ears, in the marshe< <-n the other side, where they all miserably perished to a man, and, their bones being collected, and decently covered by the Tammany Society of that day, formed that singular mound called Jtriftli-xHiiki-'/u'//, which rises out of the centre of the salt marches, a little to the east of the Newark Caur-cway.

Animated l>y this unlooked-for victory, our valiant |I.T.M< -prani: a-lmre in triumph, took possession of the soil as conquerors, in the names of their High Mightinesses the lords states-general, and, marching fearlessly forward, carried the village of Communi- /Htir by storm, notwithstanding that it was vigorously defended hy >ome half a -core of old squaws and pop- poo-e-. On looking about them they were so tran- sported with the exei lleucies of the place, that they had very little doubt the blessed St. Nicholas had guided them thither, as the very spot whereon to

* So culled, lu'causeone Joseph Andrews, a pirate and mur- ilrrt-r, w;is handed in chains on that island, the '2-'5rd May, 1769.

60 HISTORY OF

settle their colony. The softness of the soil was wonderfully adapted to the driving of piles; the swamps and marshes around them, afforded ample opportunities for the constructing of dykes and dams ; the shallowness of the shore was peculiarly favourable to the building of docks; in a word, this spot abounded with all the requisites for the foundation of"a great Dutch city. On making a faithful report, therefore, to the crew of the Goede Vrouw, they one and all determined that this was the destined end of their voyage. Accordingly they descended from the Goede Vrouw, men, women, and children, in goodly groups, as did the animals of yore from the ark, and formed themselves into a thriving settlement, which they called by the Indian name Communipaw,

As all the world is, doubtless, perfectly acquainted with Communipaw, it may seem somewhat superfluous to treat of it in the present work; but my readers will please to recollect, that notwithstanding it is my chief desire to satisfy the present age, yet I write like- wise for posterity, and have to consult the understand- ing and curiosity of some half a score of centuries yet to come; by which time, perhaps, were it not for this invaluable history, the great Communipaw, like Baby- lon, Carthage, Nineveh, and other great cities, might be perfectly extinct, sunk and forgotten in its own mud, its inhabitants turned into oysters,* and even its situation a fertile subject of learned controversy and hard-headed investigation among indefatigable historians. Let me, then, piously rescue from obli- vion the humble relics of a place, which was the egg from whence was hatched the mighty city of New York!

Communipaw is at present but a small village, * " Men by inaction degenerate into oysters." — KAIMES.

NEW YORK. 61

<ntly situated among rural scenery, on that beau- part of the Jersey sin in- which was known in ancient leg< nd> by th.- name of Pavonia,* and com- mamU a LMVMid prospect of the superb bay of New York. It is within but half an hour's sail of the latter place, provided \nu have a fair wind, and may be dis- tinct: in the city. Nay, it is a well-known tact, which I can testify from my own experience, that on a clear, still summer evening, you may hear from the 1) itt.'ry of New York, the obstreperous peals of the broad-mouthed laughter of the Dutch negroes at Coinmunipaw, who, like most other negroes, are tani'Hi- I'm- th ir ri.-ibl" powers. This is peculiarly the case on Sunday evenings; when it is remarked by an ingenious and observant philosopher, who has made great discoveries in the neighbourhood of this city, that tii'-y always laugh loudest; which he attri- but- s to the circumstance of their having their holi- day clothes on.

The- . in fact, like the monks in the dark

>ssall the knowledge of the place; and, being infinitely moiv adventurous and more knowing than their masters, carry on all the foreign trade, making frequent v.iya^es to town in canoes loaded with oys- huttcrmilk, and cabbages. They are great astro- l"<_rers, predicting the different changes of weather almo-t a- !y as an almanac; they are, more-

over, exquisite performers on three-stringed fiddles: in whistling, they almost boast the far-famed powers of Orpheus liis lyre; for not a horse or an ox in the place, when at the plough or before the waguon, will budge a foot until li" hears the w< 11-known wlii-tle of his black driver and companion: and, from their amazing skill in casting upace«unt< upon their fingers,

• Pavonia, in the ancient maps, is given to a tract of country f \tfiiJing from about Hoboken to Amboy.

62 HISTORY OF

they are regarded with as much veneration as were the disciples of Pythagoras of yore, when initiated into the sacred quaternary of numbers.

As to the honest burghers of Communipaw, like wise men and sound philosophers, they never look beyond their pipes, nor trouble their heads about any affairs out of their immediate neighbourhood ; so that they live in profound and enviable ignorance of all the troubles, anxieties, and revolutions of this dis- tracted planet. I am even told that many among theqi do verily believe that Holland, of which they have heard so much from tradition, is situated some- where on Long Island; that Sjjiking-decil and the Narrows, are the two ends of the world; that the country is still under the dominion of their High Mightinesses; and that the city of New York still goes by the name Nieuw Amsterdam. They meet every Saturday afternoon, at the only tavern in the place, which bears, as a sign, a square-headed likeness of the prince of Orange; where they smoke a silent pipe by way of promoting social conviviality, and invariably drink a mug of cider to the success of Admiral Van Tromp, who they imagine is still sweep- ing the British channel, with a broom at his mast- head.

Communipaw, in short, is one of the numerous little villages in the vicinity of this most beautiful of cities, which are so many strongholds and fa-tnesses, whither the primitive manners of our Dutch fore- fathers have retreated, and where they are cherished with devout and scrupulous strictness. The dress of the original settlers is handed down inviolate, from father to son; the identical broad-brimmed hat, broad- skirted coat, and broad-bottomed breeches, continue from generation to generation ; and several gigantic knee-buckles of massy silver are still in wear, that

S I W YORK.

made such gallant display in the days of the patriarchs of Commuuipaw. The language, likewise, continues unadultcrati d by barbarous innovations ; and, so criti- cally con-ret is the village schoolmaster in his dialect, that hi- reading of a Low Dutch psalm has much the same t licet on the nerves as the filing of a hand-saw.

CHAPTER III.

In which is set forth the true Art of making a Bargain — together with the miraculous Escape of a great Metropolis in a Fog — and the Biography of certain HeroesofCommunipaw.

II \\ i M;. in the trifling digression which concluded tin lu-t chapter, discharged the filial duty which the city of New York owed to Communipaw, as being the mother scttl< ment, and having given a faithful picture of it as it stands at present, 1 return, with a soothing sentiment <>i -elf-approbation, to dwell upon its early history. The crew of the Goede Vrouw being soon n inl'orced by fiv-li importations from Holland, the in nt \\< nt jollity on, increasing in magnitude and pro.-perity. The neighbouring Indians in a short time became accustomed to the uncouth sound of the Dutch language, and an intercourse gradually took place betwein tin-in and the new comers. "The Indians

much given to long t.dks, and the Dutch to long \ silence; in this particular, then fore, they accommo- dated each other completely. The chiefs would make long speeches about the big bull, the wabash, and the great .-pirit. to which the otheis would listen very attentively, .-moke their pipes, and grunt yah myn-her; when at the MHT -a vagi - weiv Wi.ndn>u-l\ delighted. They instructed the new stttl. -r> in the: best art of curing and smoking tobacco. \\ hile tin- latter in return

64 HISTORY OF

made them drunk with true Hollands — and then learned them the art of making bargains.

A brisk trade for furs was soon opened; the Dutch traders were scrupulously honest in their dealings, and purchased by weight, establishing it as an invariable table of avoirdupoise, that the hand of a Dutchman weighed one pound, and his foot two pounds. It is true, the simple Indians were often puzzled by the great disproportion between bulk and weight; for, let them place a bundle of furs never so large, in one scale, and a Dutchman put his hand or foot in the other, the bundle was sure to kick the beam; never was a package of furs known to weigh more than two pounds in the market of Communipaw!

This is a singular fact; but I have it direct from my great-great-grandfather, who had risen to consi- derable importance in the colony, being promoted to the office of weigh-master, on account of the uncom- mon heaviness of his foot.

The Dutch possessions in this part of the globe began now to assume a very thriving appearance, and were comprehended under the general title of the Nieuw Nederlandts; on account, as the sage Vander Donck observes, of their great resemblance to the Dutch Netherlands; which indeed was truly remark- able, excepting that the former were rugged and mountainous, and the latter level and marshy. About this time the tranquillity of the Dutch colonists was doomed to suffer a temporary interruption. In 1614, Captain Sir Samuel Argal, sailing under a commission from Dale, Governor of Virginia, visited the Dutch settlements on Hudson river, and demanded their submission to the English crown and Virginia domi- nion. To this arrogant demand, as they were in no condition to resist it, they submitted for the time, like discreet and reasonable men.

NEW YORK. 65

It docs not appear that the valiant Argal molested tin settlement of Communipaw; on the contrary, I am told tint when his vessel first hove in sight, the worthy burghers were seized with such a panic, that they fell t» -mi. king their pipes with astonishing vehe- mence. iii>oumrh that they quickly raised a cloud, which, combining with the surrounding woods and marshes, completely enveloped and concealed their beloved village, and overhung the fair regions of I'avunia ; so that the terrible Captain Argal passed on, totally unsuspicious that a sturdy little Dutch set- tlement lay snugly couched in the mud, under cover of all tlii> pestilent vapour. In commemoration of this fortunate escape, the worthy inhabitants have continued to smoke almost without intermission unto this very day; which is said to be the cause of the remarkable fog that often hangs over Communipaw of a clear afternoon.

Upon the departure of the enemy, our magnanimous ancestors took full six months to recover their.wind, having been exceedingly discomposed by the conster- nation and hurry of affairs. They then called a council of saf.-ty to smoke over the state of the province. After. six months more of mature deliberation, during which nearly five hundred words were spoken, and almost as much tobacco was smoked as would have served a certain modern general through a whole winter's campaign of hard drinking, it was determined to fit out an armament of canoes, and despatch them on a voyage of discovery, to search if peradventure some more sure and formidable position might not be found, where the colony would be less subject to vexatious visitations.

This perilous eutei prise was entrusted to the superin- tendence of Mynheers Olotl'e Van Kortlandt, Abraham

Elardeobroeck, Jacobus Van /amlt, and \Vinant Ten

66 HISTORY OF

Broeck — four indubitably great men; but of whose history, although I have made diligent inquiry, I can learn but little previous to their leaving Holland. Nor need this occasion much surprise, for adventurers, like prophets, though they make great noise abroad, have seldom much celebrity in their own countries ; but this much is certain, that the overflowings and offscourings of a country are invariably composed of the richest parts of the soil. And here I cannot help remarking how convenient it would be to many of our great men and great families of doubtful origin, could they have the privilege of the heroes of yore, who, whenever their origin was involved in obscurity, modestly announced themselves descended from a god ; and who never visited a foreign country, but what they told some cock-and-bull stories about their being kings and princes at home. This venial trespass on the truth, though it has occasionally been played off by some pseudo marquis, baronet, and other illustrious foreigner, in ou» land of good-natured credulity, has been com- pletely discountenanced in this sceptical matter-of-fact age. And I even question whether any tender virgin, who was accidentally and unaccountably enriched with a bantling, would save her character at parlour firesides and evening tea parties, by ascribing the phenomenon to a swan, a shower of gold, or a river god.

Thus, being denied the benefit of mythology and classic fable, I should have been completely at a loss as to the early biography of my heroes, had not a gleam of light been thrown upon their origin from their names.

From this simple means have I been enabled to gather some particulars concerning the adventurers in question. Van Kortlandt, for instance, was one of those peripatetic philosophers, who tax Providence for a livelihood, and, like Diogenes, enjoy a free and unin- cumbered estate in sunshine. He was usually arrayed

NEW YORK. 67

in garments suitable to his fortune, being curiously fringed and Tangled by the hand of time; and was helmeted with an old fragment of a hat, which had acquired the shape of a sugar-loaf; and, so far did he- carry his contempt for the adventitious distinction of (1 rt-s. that it is said, the remnant of a shirt, which covered his buck, and dangled like a pocket handker- chief out of a hole in his breeches, was never washed, except by the bountiful showers of heaven. In this garb was he usually to be seen, sunning himself at noonday, witli a herd of philosophers of the same sect, on the side of the great canal of Amsterdam. Like your nobility of Europe, he took hisnameof Kortlandt (or Lark-land) from his landed estate, which lay somewhere: in Terra Incognita.

Of the next of our worthies, mfght I have had the benefit of mythological assistance, the want of which I hu\e just lamented, I should have made honourable mention, as boasting equally illustrious pedigree with the proudi -4 IK TO of antiquity. His name was Van '/.nmli. which, bring freely translated, signifies from the dirt, meaning, beyond a doubt, that like Tripto- lt iiuis, Tin-mis the Cyclops, and the Titans, he sprung from dame Terra, or the earth! This supposition is strongly corroborated by his size, for it is well known that all the progeny of mother earth were of a gigantic stature; and Van Zandt, we are told, was a tall raw- boned man, above six feet high, with an astonishingly hard head. Nor is this origin of the illustrious Van Xamlt a whit more improbable or repugnant to belief, than what is related and universally admitted of certain of our greatest, or rather richest men, who, we are told with the utmost gravity, did originally spring from a dunghill!

( M'tlie third hero, but afaint description ha* readied to this time, which mentions, that he was a sturdy,

F2

68 HISTORY OF

obstinate, burly, bustling little man ; and, from being usually equipped with an old pair of buckskins, was familiarly dubbed Harden Broeck, or Tough Breeches. Ten Broeck completed this junto of adventurers. It is a singular but ludicrous fact, which, were I not scrupulous in recording the whole truth, I should almost be tempted to pass over in silence, as incom- patible with the gravity and dignity of history, that this worthy gentleman should likewise have been nicknamed from the most whimsical part of his dress. In fact, the small-clothes seems to have been a very important garment in the eyes of our venerated ancestors, owing, in all probability, to its really being the largest article of raiment among them. The name of Ten Broeck or Tin Broeck is indifferently translated into Ten Breeches and Tin Breeches : the High Dutch commentators incline to the former opinion, and ascribe it to his being the first who introduced into the settlement the ancient Dutch fashion of wearing ten pair of breeches. But the most elegant and inge- nious writers on the subject declare in favour of Tin, or rather Thin Breeches; from whence they infer, that he was a poor but merry rogue, whose galligaskins were none of the soundest, and who was the identical author of that truly philosophical stanza: —

" Then why should we quarrel for riches,

Or any such glittering toys ? A light heart and thin pair of breeches

Will go through the world, my brave boys!"

Such was the gallant junto chosen to conduct this voyage into unknown realms; and the whole was put under the superintending care and direction of Oloffe Van Kortlandt, who was held in great reverence among the sages of Communipaw, for the variety and darkness of his knowledge. Having, as I before observed, passed a great part of his life in the open air,

NEW YORK. 69

among the peripatetic philosophers of Amsterdam, he had become amazingly well acquainted with the aspect of the heavens, and could as accurately determine when a storm was brewing or a squall rising, as a dutiful husband can foresee, from the brow of his spouse, when a tempest is gathering about his ears. He was, moreover, a great seer of ghosts and goblins, and a firm believer in omens: but what especially recom- mended him to public confidence, was his marvellous talent of dreaming ; for there never was any thing of consequence happened at Communipaw, but what he declared he had previously dreamt it; being one of those infallible prophets that always predict a thing after it has come to pass.

This supernatural gift was as highly valued among tin- burghers of Pavonia, as it was among the en- lightened nations of antiquity. The wise Ulysses was more indebted to his sleeping than his waking momenta for all his subtle achievements, and seldom undertook any great exploit, without first soundly sleeping upon it; and the same may truly be said of the good Van Kortlandt, who was thence aptly deno- minated Oloffe the Dreamer.

This cautious commander, having chosen the crews that should accompany him in the proposed expedition, exhorted them to repair to their homes, take a good night's rest, settle all family affairs, and make their wills, before departing on this voyage into unknown realms. And, indeed, this last was a precaution always taken by our forefathers, even in after times, when they became more adventurous, and voyaged to Ilaverstraw or Kaatskill, or Groodt Esopus, or any other far country that lay beyond the great waters of the Tappaan Zee.

70 HISTORY OF

CHAPTER IV.

How the Heroes of Communipaw voyaged to Hell-gate, and how they were received there.

AND now the rosy blush of morn began to mantle in the east, and soon the rising sun, emerging from amidst golden and purple clouds, shed his blithesome rays on the tin weathercocks of Communipaw. It was that delicious season of the year, when Nature, breaking from the chilling thraldom of old Winter, like a blooming damsel from the tyranny of a sordid old father, threw herself, blushing with ten thousand charms, into the arms of youthful Spring. Every tufted copse and blooming grove resounded with the notes of hymeneal love. The very insects, as they sipped the dew that gemmed the tender grass of the meadows, joined in the joyous epithalamium ; the virgin bud timidly put forth its blushes, " the voice of the turtle was heard in the land," and the heart of •nan dissolved away in tenderness. Oh ! sweet Theo- critus! had I thine oaten reed, wherewith thou erst did charm the gay Sicilian plains; or, oh! gentle Bion ! thy pastoral pipe, wherein the happy swains of the Lesbian isle so much delighted; then might I attempt to sing in soft Bucolic or negligent Idyllium, the rural beauties of the scene: but having nothing, save this jaded goose-quill, wherewith to wing my flight, I must fain resign all poetic disportings of the fancy, and pursue my narrative in humble prose ; comforting myself with the hope, that though it may not steal so sweetly upon the imagination of my reader, yet may it commend itself, with virgin modesty, to his better judgment, clothed in the chaste and simple garb of truth.

No sooner did the first rays of cheerful Phoebus dart into the windows of Communipaw, than the little

NEW YORK. 71

settlement was all in motion. Forth issued from his ra-tle the sage Van Kortlandt, and, seizing a conch- shell, III, u a tar-resounding blast, that soon summoned all his lusty followers. Then did they trudge reso- lutely (lii\vii to tin- waterside, escorted by a multitude of relatives and friends, who all went down, as the common phrase expresses it, "to see them off." And this shows the antiquity of those long family pro- eessjons, often seen in our city, composed of all ages, sizes, and sexes, laden with bundles and band-boxes, escorting some bevy of country cousins, about to de- part for home in a market-boat.

The good Oloffe bestowed his forces in a squadron of throe canoes, and hoisted his flag on board a little round Dutch boat, shaped not unlike a tub, which had formerly been the jolly-boat of theGoede Vrouw. And now, all being embarked, they bid farewell to the LM/.ing throng upon the beach, who continued shouting after them, even when out of hearing, wish- ing tin in a happy voyage, advising them to take good care of themselves, not to get drowned — with an abundance other of those sage and invaluable cau- tions generally given by landsmen to such as go down to the sea in ships, and adventure upon the deep waters. In the mean while, the voyagers cheerily ur^i-d their course across the crystal bosom of the t>ay, and soon left behind them the green shores of ancient i'avonia.

And first they touched at two small islands which lie nearly opposite Communipaw, and which are said to havi lircn brought into existence about the time of the u'lvat irruption of the Hudson, when it broke through the Highlands, and made its way to the ocean.* For in this tremendous uproar of the waters,

• It is a m.ittcr long siiu-e established by certain of our phi- losophers, tbat is to say, having been oftcu advanced, aud never

72 HISTORY OF

we are told that many huge fragments of rock and land were rent from the mountains, and swept down, by this runaway river, for sixty or seventy miles; where some of them ran aground on the shoals just opposite Communipaw, and formed the identical islands in question, while others drifted out to sea, and were never heard of more ! A sufficient proof of the fact is, that the rock which forms the basis of these islands is exactly similar to that of the Highlands ; and, moreover, one of our philosophers, who has dili- gently compared the agreement of their respective surfaces, has even gone so far as to assure me, in con- fidence, that Gibbet Island was originally nothing more nor less than a wart on Anthony's Nose.*

Leaving these wonderful little isles, they next coasted by Governor's Island, since terrible from its frowning fortress and grinning batteries. They would by no means, however, land upon this island, since they doubted much it might be the abode of demons and spirits, which in those days did greatly abound throughout this savage and pagan country.

Just at this time, a shoal of jolly porpoises came rolling and tumbling by, turning up their sleek sides in the sun, and spouting up the briny element in sparkling showers. No sooner did the sage Oloffe

contradicted, it has grown to be pretty nigh equal to a settled fact, that the Hudson was originally a lake, dammed up by the mountains of the Highlands. In process of time, however, becoming very mighty and obstreperous, and the mountains waxing pursy, dropsical, and weak in the back, by reason of their extreme old age, it suddenly rose upon them, and, after a violent struggle, effected its escape. This is said to have come to pass in very remote time, probably before that rivers had lost the art of running up hill. The foregoing is a theory in which I do not pretend to be skilled, notwithstanding that I do fully give it my belief. * A promontory in the Highlands.

NEW YORK. 73

mark this, than ho was greatly rejoiced. " This," .inicd he, "if I mistake not, augurs well; the porpoise is a fat, well-conditioned fish, a burgomaster aninriLT tishes ; hi-; looks betoken ease, plenty, and pro-perity; I greatly admire this round fat fish, and doubt not but this is a happy omen of the success of our undertaking." So saying, he directed his squad- ron to steer in the track of these aldermen fishes.

Turning, therefore, directly to the left, they swept up the strait, vulgarly called the East River. And here the rapid tide which courses through this strait, seizing on the gallant tub in which Commodore Van Kortlandt had embarked, hurried it forward with a velocity unparalleled in a Dutch boat, navigated by Dutchmen ; insomuch, that the good commodore, who had all his life long been accustomed only to the drowsy navigation of canals, was more than ever convinced that they were in the hands of some super- natural power, and that the jolly porpoises were tow inic them to some fair haven that was to fulfil all their wishes and expectations.

Thus borne away by the resistless current, they doubled that boisterous point of land, since called C'oi U-ar's Hook,* and, leaving to the right the rich winding cove of the Wallabout, where our infant navy is now-a-days put out to nurse, they drifted into a magnificent expanse of water, surrounded by pleasant shores, whose verdure was exceedingly refreshing to the eye. While the voyagers were looking around them, on what they conceived to be a serene and sunny lake, they beheld, at a distance, a crew of painted savages, busily employed in fishing, who seemed more like the genii of this romantic region, their slender canoe lightly balanced like a feather on the undulating surface of the bay.

• Properly spelt hoeck, i. e. a point of land

74 HISTORY OF

At sight of these, the hearts of the heroes of Coru- munipaw were not a little troubled. But, as good fortune would have it, at the bow of the commodore's boat was stationed a very valiant man, named Hen- drick Kip (which, being interpreted, means chicken ; a name given him in token of his courage.) No sooner did he behold these varlet heathens than he trembled with excessive valour ; and, although a good half-mile distance, he seized a musquetoon that lay at hand, and, turning away his head, fired it most intrepidly in the face of the blessed sun. The blundering wea- pon recoiled, and gave the valiant Kip an ignomi- nious kick that laid him prostrate with uplifted heels in the bottom of the boat. But such was the effect of this tremendous fire, that the wild men of the woods, struck with consternation, seized hastily upon their paddles, and shot away into one of the deep inlets of the Long Island shore.

This signal victory gave new spirits to the hardy voyagers ; and, in honour of the achievement, they gave the name of the valiant Kip to the surrounding bay; and it has continued to be called KIP'S BAY, from that time to the present. The heart of the good Van Kortlandt, who, having no land of his own, was a great admirer of other people's, expanded at the sumptuous prospect of rich unsettled country around him, and, falling into a delicious revery, he straight- way began to riot in the possession of vast meadows of salt marsh and interminable patches of cabbages. From this delectable vision he was all at once awak- ened by the sudden turning of the tide, which would soon have hurried him from this land of promise, had not the discreet navigator given signal to steer for shore ; where they accordingly landed hard by the rocky heights of Bellevue, that happy retreat where our jolly aldermen eat for the good of the city, and

NEW YORK. . 75

fatten the turtle that are sacrificed on civic solem- nities.

Here, seated on the green sward, by the side of a small stream that ran sparkling among the grass, they n-froliftl thrrnselves after the toils of the seas, by ft ;i-tiiiir lu-tily on the ample stores which they had prnviilfil for this perilous voyage. Thus having well fortified their deliberative powers, they fell into an earnest consultation, what was further to be done. This was the first council-dinner ever eaten at Belle- vue by Christian burghers; and here, as tradition relates, did originate the great family feud between the Harden broecks and the Tenbroecks, which after- wards had a singular influence on the building of the city. The sturdy Hardenbroeck, whose eyes had been wondrously delighted with the salt marshes that spread their reeking bosoms along the coast, at the bottom of Kip's Bay, counselled by all means to return thither, and found the intended city. This was strenuously opposed by the unbending Tenbroeck, and many testy arguments passed between them. The parti- culars of this controversy have not reached us, which i- < vcr to be lamented; this much is certain, that the sage Oloffe put an end to the dispute, by determining to explore still further in the route which the myste- rious porpoises had so clearly pointed out; whereupon tin -timly Tough Breeches abandoned the expedition, took possession of a neighbouring hill, and, in a fit of great wrath, peopled all that tract of country, which has continued to be inhabited by the Hardenbroecks unti) this very day.

By this time the jolly Phoebus, like some wanton urchin spo'-ting on the side of a green hill, began to roll down the decli\ity of the heavens; and now, the tide havinjr onee more turned in their favour, the n>olute I'uvonians again committed themselves to its

76 HISTORY OF

discretion, and, coasting along the western shores, were borne towards the straits of Blackwell's Island.

And here the capricious wanderings of the current occasioned not a little marvel and perplexity to these illustrious mariners. Now would they be caught by the wanton eddies, and, sweeping round a jutting point, would wind deep into some romantic little cove that indented the fair island of Manna-hatta; now were they hurried narrowly by the very bases of im- pending rocks, mantled with the flaunting grape-vine, and crowned with groves that threw a broad shade on the waves beneath ; and anon they were borne away into the mid-channel, and wafted along with a rapidity that very much discomposed the sage Van Kortlandt, who, as he saw the land swiftly receding on either side, began exceedingly to doubt that terra firnia was giving them the slip.

Wherever the voyagers turned their eyes, a new creation seemed to bloom around. No signs of human thrift appeared to check the delicious wildness of Nature, who here revelled in all her luxuriant variety. Those hills, now bristled, like the fretful porcupine, with rows of poplars, (vain, upstart plants ! minions of wealth and fashion!) were then adorned with the vigorous natives of the soil — the lordly oak, the generous chestnut, the graceful elm; while here and there the tulip-tree reared his majestic head, the giant of the forest: where now are seen the gay retreats of luxury, villas half-buried in twilight bowers, whence the amorous flute oft breathes the sighings of some city swain, there the fish-hawk built his solitary nest on some dry tree that overlooked his watery domain. The timid deer fed undisturbed along those shores now hallowed by the lover's moonlight walk, and printed by the slender foot of beauty ; and a savage solitude extended over those happy regions,

NEW YORK. 77

where now are reared the stately towers of the Joneses, the Sclit nnerhornes and the Rhinelanders.

Thus gliding in silent wonder through these new and unknown .scenes, the gallant squadron of Pavonia swept by the foot of a promontory, that strutted forth boldly into the waves, and seemed to frown upon them as they brawled against its base. This is the bluff well kaowa to modern mariners by the name of Gracie's Point, from the fair castle which, like an ele- phant, it carries upon its back. And here broke upon their vi< \v a wild and varied prospect, where land and were beauteously intermingled, as though they had combined to heighten and set off each other's charms. To their right lay the sedgy point of Black- well's Island, dressed in the fresh garniture of living green ; beyond it stretched the pleasant coast of Sunds\\ick, and the small harbour well known by the name of Hal let's Cove — a place infamous, in latter days, by reason of its being the haunt of pirates who infe>t tliese seas, robbing orchards and water-melon patches, and insulting gentlemen navigators, when _fing in their pleasure-boats. To the left a deep bay, or rather creek, gracefully receded between shores fringed \\ith forests, and forming a kind of vista, through which were beheld the sylvan regions of Haerleni, Morrissania, and East Chester. Here the ,( -posed \\ith delight on a richly-wooded country, diversified by tufted knolls, shadowy intervals, and waving lines of upland, swelling above each other; while over the whole, the purple mists of spring dif- fused a hue of soft voluptuousness.

Just before them the grand course of the stream, making a sudden bend, wound among embowered promontories and shores of emerald verdure, that seemed to melt into the wave. A character of gen- tleness and mild fertility prevailed around. The sun

78 HISTORY OF

had just descended, and the thin haze of twilight, like a transparent veil drawn over the bosom of virgin beauty, heightened the charms which it half concealed.

Ah! witching scenes of foul delusion! Ah! hap- less voyagers, gazing with simple wonder on these Circean shores! Such, alas! are they, poor, easy souls, who listen to the seductions of a wicked world: treacherous are its smiles! fatal its caresses! He who yields to its enticements launches upon a whelm- ing tide, and trusts his feeble ;.bark among the dim- pling eddies of a whirlpool ! And thus it fared with the worthies of Pavonia, who, little mistrusting the guileful scene before them, drifted quietly on, until they were aroused by an uncommon tossing and agi- tation of their vessels. For now the late dimpling current began to brawl around them, and the waves to boil and foam with horrific fury. Awakened as if from a dream, the astonished Oloffe bawled aloud to put about, but his words were lost amid the roaring of the waters. And now ensued a scene of direful con- sternation; at one time they were borne with dread- ful velocity, among tumultuous breakers, at another hurried down boisterous rapids. Now they were nearly dashed upon the Hen and Chickens (infamous rocks! more voracious than Scylla and her whelps;) and anon they seemed sinking into yawning gulfs, that threatened to entomb them beneath the waves. All the elements combined to produce a hideous con- fusion. The waters raged, the winds howled, and, as they were hurried along, several of the astonished mariners beheld the rocks and trees of the neighbour- ing shores driving through the air!

At length the mighty tub of Commodore Van Kortlandt was drawn into the vortex of that tremen- dous whirlpool called the Pot, where it was whirled

A- YORK. 79

about in giddy mazes, until the senses of the good commander and his crew were overpowered by the horror of the scene, and the strangeness of the revo- lution.

How the gallant squadron of Pavonia was snatched from the jaws of this modern Charybdis, has never been truly made known ; for so many survived to tell the tale, and, what is still more wonderful, told it in so many different ways, that there has ever prevailed a great variety of opinions on the subject.

As to the commodore and his crew, when they came to their senses they found themselves stranded on the Long Island shore. The worthy commodore, indeed, used to relate many and wonderful stories of his adventures in this time of peril, which, by his account, did far exceed those of the sage Ulysses, in tlic stiaits of Charybdis. For he saw spectres flying in the air, and heard the yelling of hobgoblins, and put his hand into the Pot when they were whirled around, and found the water scalding hot, and beheld several uncouth-looking beings seated on rocks, and skimming it with huge ladles; but particularly he declared, with great exultation, that he saw the losel porpoises, which had betrayed them into this peril, <• broiling on the gridiron, and others hissing in the frying-pan.

These, however, were considered by many as mere phantasies of the commodore's imagination, while he lay in a trance; especially as he was known to be :i to dreaming; and the truth of them has never been clearly ascertained. It is certain, however, that to the accounts of Oloffe and his followers may be traced the various traditions handed down of this marvellous -trait; as how the devil has been seen there, sitting astride of the Hog's Hack and playing on the fiddle; how lie bmiU fi.-h there before a storm;

80 HISTORY OF

and many other stories, in which we must be cautious of putting too much faith. In consequence of all these terrific circumstances, the Pavonian commander gave this pass the name of Helle-gat, or, as it has been interpreted, Hell-gate;* which it continues to bear at the present day.

CHAPTER V.

How the Heroes of Communipaw returned somewhat wiser than they went — and how the sage Oloffe dreamed a Dream — and the Dream that he dreamed.

THE darkness of night had closed upon this disas- trous day ; and doleful night was it to the shipwrecked Pavonians, whose ears were incessantly assailed with the raging of the elements, and the howling of the hob- goblins that infested this perfidious strait. But when the morning dawned, the horrors of the preceding evening had passed away ; rapids, breakers, and whirl- pools had disappeared; the stream again ran smooth and dimpling, and, having changed its tide, rolled

* This is a narrow strait in the sound, at the distance of six miles above New York. It is dangerous to shipping, unless under the care of skilful pilots, hy reason of numerous rocks, shelves, and whirlpools. These have received sundry appella- tions, such as the Gridiron, Fryingpan, Hog's Back, Pot, &c. ; and are very violent and turbulent at certain times of tide. Certain wise men, who instruct these modern clays, have soft- ened the above characteristic name into Hurl-yate, which means nothing. I leave them to give their own etymology. The name, as given by our author, is supported by the map in Van- der Donck's history, published in 1656; by Ogilvie's History of America, 1671 ; as also by a journal still extant, written in the 16th century, and to be found in Hazard^s State Papers. And an old MS. written in French, speaking of various altera- tions in names about this city, observes, " De Hell-gat, trou d'Enfer, ils out fait Hell-gate, porte d'Enfer."

V YORK. 81

ly back, towards tin.- quarter where lay their uuirli-r< _;;, tit d home.

Tin- woe-begone heroes of Communipaw eyed each other \\itli rueful countenances; their squadron had be. n t..-..lly dispersed by the late disaster. Some u. iv ru-t upon tin- westein shore, where, headed by Kulcti' Hopper, they took possession of all the country lying about the six-milestone; which is held by the Hoppers at this present writing.

The \Valdrons were driven by stress of weather to u di.-tant (••>,(>(, where, having with them a jug of genuine Hollands, they were enabled to conciliate the Betting up a kind of tavern; from whence, it is .-aid, di<i .spring the lair town of Haerlem, in which their dcxvndants have ever since continued to be reputable publicans. A^ to the Suydams, they were thrown upon the Long Island coast, and may still be found in those parts. But the most singular luck attended tlic great Tenbroeck, who, falling overboard, \\a- mii.M-ulously preserved from sinking, by the mul- titude oi' hi> aether garments. Thus buoyed up, he floated on the waves, like a merman, until he landed >afely on a rock, where he was found the next nn.niing, busily drying his many breeches in the nuMhioe.

I forbear to treat of the long consultation of our

adventurers — how they determined that it would not

do to found a city in this diabolical neighbourhood,

and how at length, with fear and trembling, they ven-

i once more upon the briny element, and steered

their eour-M- back for Communipaw. Sniiice it, in

simple bie\ity. to say, that after toiling |);ick through

ol' tni-ir yt >terd.i\ '< \oyage, they at length

iliern point of .Manna-hata, and gained

a dUiant vie\\ of their beloved Communipaw.

And here they were opposed by an ob>tinatc eddy,

82 HISTORY OF

that resisted all the efforts of the exhausted mariners. Weary and dispirited, they could no longer make head against the power of the tide, or rather, as some will have it, of old Neptune, who, anxious to guide them to a spot whereon should be founded his strong- hold in this western world, sent half a score of potent billows, that rolled the tub of Commodore Van Kort- landt high and dry on the shores Manna-hata.

Having thus, in a manner, been guided by a super- natural power to this delightsome island, their first care was to light a fire at the foot of a large tree, that stood upon the point at present called the Battery. Then gathering together great store of oysters, which abounded on the shore, and emptying the contents of their wallets, they prepared and made a sumptuous council repast. The worthy Van Kortlandt was ob- served to be particularly zealous in his devotions to the trencher; for, having the cares of the expedition especially committed to his care, he deemed it incum- bent on him to eat profoundly for the public good. In proportion as he filled himself to the very brim with the dainty viands before him, did the heart of this excellent burgher seem to rise up towards his throat, until he seemed crammed and almost choked with good eating and good nature. And at such times it is, when a man's heart is in his throat, that he may more truly be said to speak from it, and his speeches abound with kindness and good fellowship. Thus, the worthy Oloffe having swallowed the last possible morsel, and washed it down with a fervent potation, felt his heart yearning, and his whole frame in a manner dilating with unbounded benevolence. Every thing around him seemed excellent and de- lightful; and, laying his hands on each side of his capacious periphery, and rolling his half-closed eyes around on the beautiful diversity of land and water

H- YORK. 83

<• him. lie exclaimed, in a fat, half-smothered voice, '• What a charming prospect!" The words d'n-d away in his throat, he seemed to ponder on the fair scene for a moment, his eyelids heavily closed

their orbs, his head drooped upon his bosom, he >l->wly sunk upon the green turf, and a deep sleep stole gradually upon him.

Ami the sage Oloffe dreamed a dream; and lo! tin- good St. Nicholas came riding over the tops of the trees, in that st-lf-same waggon wherein he brings his yearly presents to children; and he came and

adi-d hard l>y where the heroesof Communipaw had made their late repast And the shrewd Van Kortlandt knew him by his broad hat, his long pipe, and the resemblance which he bore to the figure on tin IIDU- of the Goede Vrouw. And he lit his pipe by tin- tin-, and he sat himself down and smoked; and as lie smoked, the smoke from his pipe ascended into tlu air, and spread like a cloud overhead. And the sag.- Olotf'e b< thought him, and he hastened and climbed up to the top of one of the tallest trees, and

that the smoke spread over a great extent of eountry; and, as he considered it more attentively, he fancied that the great volume of smoke assumed a

ry of marvellous forms, where, in dim obscurity,

u shadowed out palaces and domes and lofty spires, all which lasted but a moment, and then f'adi d awa\ . until the whole rolled off, and nothing but the

i woods were left. And when St. Nicholas had smoked his pipe, he twisted it in his hatband, and, laying his finger beside his nose, gave the- astonished Van Kortlandt a very significant look; then, mounting hi.- waggon, he returned over the tree-tops and

uned.

I Van Kortlandt awoke from his sleep greatly instructed, and he aroused his companions and related

84 HISTORY OF

to thein his dream: and interpreted it that it was the will of St. Nicholas that they should settle down and build the city here. And that the smoke of the pipe was a type how vast should be the extent of the city; inasmuch as the volumes of its smoke should spread over a vast extent of country. And they all with one voice assented to the interpretation, excepting Mynheer Tenbroeck, who declared the meaning to be, that it should be a city wherein a little fire should occasion a great smoke, or, in other word?, a very vapouring little city; both which interpretations have strangely come to pass!

The great object of their perilous expedition, there- fore, being thus happily accomplished, the voyagers returned merrily to Communipaw, where they were received with great rejoicings. And here, calling a general meeting of all the wise men and the digni- taries of Pavonia, they related the whole history of their voyage, and of the dream of OlofFe Van Kort- landt. And the people lifted up their voices and blessed the good St. Nicholas, and, from that time forth, the sage Van Kortlandt was held in more honour than ever for his great talent at dreaming, and was pronounced a most useful citizen and a right good man — when he was asleep.

CHAPTER VI.

Containing an Attempt at Etymology — and of the Foundation of the great City of New Amsterdam.

THE original name of the island, whereon the squadron of Communipaw was thus propitiously thrown, is a matter of some dispute, and has already undergone considerable vitiation — a melancholy proof

V YORK. 85

of the instability of all sublunary things, anil tin vanity of all our hopes of lasting fame; for who can

t his name will live to posterity, when even the- name* of mighty islands are thus soon lost in contra- diction and uncertainty !

The name most current at the present day, and which is likewise countenanced by the great historian Vander Donck, is Mnnhattan; which is said to have ' originated in a custom among the squaws, in the early

:m ut. of wearing men's hats, as is still done among in any tribes. " Hence," as we are told by an old governor, \\ho was somewhat of a wag, and flourished almost a century since, and had paid a \i<it to the wits of Philadelphia — " hence arose the appellation of Man-hat-on, first given to the Indians and afterwards to the island:" a stupid joke! — but well enough for a governor.

Among the more venerable sources of information (,\\ tliis Mibject, is that valuable history of the Ame- ricai: >ns, written by Master Richard Blome,

in 1687;* wherein it is called Manhadaes and Mana- hanent: nor must I forget the excellent little book, full of precious matter, of that authentic historian, John .L.-M-lyii, Gent.,f who expressly calls it Man-

A not her etymology still more ancient, and sanc- tioned l>y the countenance of our ever-to»be"-lamented Dutch ancestors, is that found in certain letters still at. \ which pa-M-d between the early governors and the neighbouring powers, wherein it is called in- differently. Monhattoes, Munhatos, ;md Manhattoes, which are evidently unimportant variations of the

• This history is to be found in the library of the New York

i Society, t Idem. J N : s Col. Stat Pap.

86 HISTORY OF

same name; for our \vise forefathers set little store by those niceties, either in orthography or orthoepy, .which form the sole study and ambition of many learned men and women of this hypercritical age. This last name is said to be derived from the great Indian spirit Manetho, who was supposed to make this island his favourite abode, on account of its un- common delights. For the Indian traditions affirm, that the bay was once a translucid lake, filled with silver and golden fish, in the midst of which lay this beautiful island, covered with every variety of fruits and flowers; but that the sudden irruption of the Hudson laid waste these blissful scenes, and Manetho took his flight beyond the great waters of Ontario.

These, however, are fabulous legends, to which very cautious credence must be given ; and although I am willing to admit the last-quoted orthography of the name, as very suitable for prose, yet is there another one, founded on still more ancient and indisputable authority, which I particularly delight in, seeing that it is at once poetical, melodious, and significant: and this is recorded in the before-mentioned voyage of the great Hudson, written 'by Master Juet; who clearly and correctly calls it MANNAHATA; that is to say, the island of Manna, or, in other words, " a land flowing with milk and honey !"

It having been solemnly resolved that the seat of empire should be transferred from the green shores of Pavonia to this delectable island, a vast multitude embarked and migrated across the Hudson, under the guidance of Oloffe the Dreamer, who was appointed protector or patron to the new settlement.

And here let me bear testimony to the matchless honesty and magnanimity of our worthy forefathers, who purchased the soil of the native Indians, before erecting a single roof; a circumstance singular and

\ YORK. 87

-t incredible in tin.- annals of discovery and colo- nization.

Tlu- fir-t settlement was made on the south-west point of tin' i.-laml, on the very spot where the good St. 'las had iijipi aivd in the dream. Here they built a mighty and impregnable fort and trading-house, called 1'ort Amsterdam, which stood on that eminence at present occupied by the custom-house, with the npc.il .-pace now called the Bowling-green, in front.

Around this potent fortress was soon seen a nume- rous progeny of little Dutch houses, with tiled roofs, all which .M fined most lovingly to nestle under its walls, like a brood of half-fledged chickens sheltered undor the wings of the mother hen. The whole was surrounded by an enclosure of strong palisado- guard against any sudden irruption of the savages who U red in hordes about the swamps and forests, that extended over those tracts of country at present called Broadway, Wall--treet, William-street, and Pttii-tfan

No sooner was the colony once planted than it took

.ind throve amazingly; for it would seem that this

thrice-favoured island is like a munificent dunghill,

wh< re evi-ry foreign weed finds kindly nourishment,

and soon -hoots up, and expands to greattn

And now tin- infant settlement having advanced in age and stature, it was thought liiirli time it should receive an honest Christian, name; and it was accord- ingly called New Amsterdam. It is true there wen- advocates for the original Indian name; and many of the best writer-* of the province did long continue .11 it by the title of "The Manlmttoes;" but this was discountenanced by the authorities, as being lieatlu iii-h and >avage. Besides, it was considered an excellent and praiseworthy measure to nai

• .iv of the Old World; ashy that means

HISTORY OF

it was induced to emulate the greatness and renown of its namesake, in the manner that little snivelling urchins are called after great statesmen, saints, and worthies, and renowned generals of yore : upon which they all industriously copy their examples, and come to be very mighty men in their day and generation.

The thriving state of the settlement, and the rapid increase of houses, gradually awakened the good Oloffe from a deep lethargy, into which he had fallen after the building of the fort. He now began to think it was time some plan should be devised, on which the in creasing town should be built. Summoning, there- fore, his counsellors and coadjutors together, they took pipe in mouth, and forthwith sunk into a very sound deliberation on the subject.

At the very outset of the business, an unexpected dif- ference of opinion arose; and I mention it with much sorrowing, as being the first altercation on record in the councils of New Amsterdam. It was a breaking forth of the grudge and heartburning that had existed between those two eminent burghers, Mynheers Ten- broeck and Hardenbroeck, ever since their unhappy altercation on the coast of Bellevue. The great Hardenbroeck had waxed very wealthy and powerful, from his domains, which embraced the whole chain of Aptilean mountains that stretch along the gulf of Kip's Bay, and from part of which his descendants have been expelled in latter ages, by the powerful clans of the Joneses and the Schermerhornes.

An ingenious plan for the city was offered by Mynheer Tenbroeck, who proposed that it should be cut up and intersected by canals, after the manner of the most admired cities in Holland. To this Mynheer Hardenbroeck was diametrically opposed, suggesting in place thereof, that they should run out docks and wharfs, by means of piles driven into the bottom of

\V YORK. 89

the river, on winch the town should be built. "By tin >r meaiK." said he, triumphantly, " shall we rescue a considerable space of territory from these immense rivers, and (mild a city that shall rival Amsterdam, Veniee, or any amphibious city in Europe." To this proportion Tenbroeck (or Ten Breeches) replied, witli a look of as much scorn as he could possibly

ne. He ca-t the utmost censure upon the plan of his antagonist, a- being preposterous, and against tin- very order of things, as he would leave to every true Hollander. " For what," said he, " is a town without canals? It is like a body without veins and arteries, and must perish for want of a free circulation of the vital Huid." Tough Breeches, on the contrary, retorted with a sarcasm upon his antagonist, who was somewhat of an arid, dry-boned habit; he remarked, that as to the circulation of the blood being necessary \Mence, Mynheer Ten Breeches was a living

adiction to his own assertion; for every body knew there had not a drop of blood circulated through his wind-dried carcass for good ten years, and yet tlit re \\a-~ not a L'lvatcr busy-body in the whole colony.

•nalities have seldom much effect in making convert^, in argument; nor have I ever seen a man

inced of error by being convicted of deformity. At least, such was not the case at present. Ten ktaeeehei \\..~ v. ry acrimonious in reply, and Tough Mivechcs, who was a sturdy little man, and never

MJI the la-t v\ ord, rejoined with increasing spirit; Ten Mr. reh. i l,ad the advantage of the greatest volu- bility, but TouiJi Mneehes had that invaluable coat of mail in argument, called obstinacy. Ten Mrcecln > had, then fore, tin nm-t mettle, but Tough Breeches the bot bottom ; so that though Ten Mr. . eli.< made a dreadful clattering about his ears, and battered and bi laboured him with hard \\oids and sound argument.-,

90 HISTORY OF

yet Tough Breeches hung on most resolutely to the last. They parted, therefore, as is usual in all argu- ments where both parties are in the right, without coining to any conclusion ; but they hated each other most heartily for ever after, and a similar breach with that between the houses of Capulet and Montague did ensue between the families of Ten Breeches and Tough Breeches. -

I would not fatigue my reader with these dull matters of fact, but that my duty as a faithful historian requires that I should be particular; and, in truth, as I am now treating of the critical period when our city, like a young twig, first received the twists and turns that have since contributed to give it the present picturesque irregularity for which it is cele- brated, I cannot be too minute in detailing their first causes.

After the unhappy altercation I have just men- tioned, I do not find that any thing further was said on the subject, worthy of beingrecorded. The council, consisting of the largest and oldest heads in the com- munity, met regularly once a-week, to ponder on this momentous subject; but either they were deterred by the war of words they had witnessed, or they were naturally averse to the exercise of the tongue, and the consequent exercise of the brains: certain it is, the most profound silence was maintained ; the question, as usual, lay on the table; the members quietly smoked their pipes, making but few laws, without ever en- forcing any; and in the mean time the affairs of the settlement went on — as it pleased God.

As most of the council were but little skilled in the mystery of combining pothooks and hangers, they determined, most judiciously, not to puzzle either themselves or posterity with voluminous records. The secretary, however, kept the minutes of the

NEW YORK. 91

cil with tolerable precision, in a large vellum folk), fastened with massy brass clasps; the journal of UK i ting consisted but of two lines, stating, in Dutch, th.it •• the council sat this day, and smoked twelve pipes on UK- affairs of the colony;" by which it appears that the first settlers did not regulate their time by hours but pipes in the same manner as they measure distances in Holland at this very time; an admirably exact measurement, as a pipe in the mouth

; rue-born Dutchman is never liable to those acci- ilents and irregularities that are continually putting our clocks out of order.

In this manner did the profound council of New

•enhuu smoke, and doze, and ponder, from week to week, month to month, and year to year, in what maiiiK-r they should construct their infant settlement:

•.while, tin town took care of itself, and, like a

iv brat which is suffered to run about wild, un- shackled by clouts and bandages, and other abomina-

. liv which \our notable nurses and sage old women cripple ,.ud dis-figure the children of men, increased so rapidly in strength and magnitude, that

re tin- honest burgomasters had determined upon a plan, it ua- too late to put it in execution; where- upon they widely abandoned the subject altogether.

CHAPTER VII.

How the City of New Amsterdam waxed great under the Pro- tection of Oloffe the Dreamer.

Tm.ui. i> MJincthing exceedingly delusive in thus

looking back, through the long vista of departed

1 catching a glimp.-e of the fairy realms of

antiquity that lit- beyond. Like some goodly land-

92 HISTORY OF

scape melted into distance, they receive a thousand charms from their very obscurity, and the fancy delights to fill up their outlines with graces and excellences of its own creation. Thus beam on my imagination those happier days of our city, when as yet New Amsterdam was a mere pastoral town, shrouded in groves of sycamore and willows, and surrounded by trackless forests and wide-spreading waters, that seemed to shut out all the cares and vanities of a wicked world.

In those days did this embryo city present the rare and noble spectacle of a community governed without laws; and thus being left to its own course, and the fostering care of Providence, increased as rapidly as though it had been burdened with a dozen panniers full of those sage laws that are usually heaped on the backs of young cities, in order to make them grow. And in this particular I greatly admire the wisdom and sound knowledge of human nature, displayed by the sage Oloffe the Dreamer, and his fellow legislators. For my part, I have not so bad an opinion of mankind as many of my brother philosophers; I do not think poor human nature so sorry a piece of workmanship as they would make it out to be; and, as far as I have observed, I am fully satisfied that man, if left to him- self, would about as readily go right as wrong. It is only this eternally sounding in his ears, that it is his duty to go right, that makes him go the very reverse. The noble independence of his nature revolts at this intolerable tyranny of law, and the perpetual interfe- rence of officious morality, which is ever besetting his path with finger-posts and directions to " keep to the right, as the law directs;" and, like a spirited urchin, he turns directly contrary, and gallops through mud and mire, over hedges and ditches, merely to show that he is a lad of spirit, and out of his leading-strings.

V YORK. 93

And the>e opinions are amply substantiated by what I have a!>ovt> s:iid of our worthy ancestors, who, IK M i beini; be-preached and be-lectured, and guided and

nied by statutes and laws and by-laws, as are their more enlightened descendants, did one and all demean tin mselv, -honestly and peaceably, out of pure ignorance, or, in other words — because they knew no iMftftl

Nor nm-t I omit to record one of the earliest meaMiies of this infant settlement, inasmuch as it shows the pi.-fy of our forefathers, and that, like good Christians, they were always ready to serve God, after they liad first served themselves. Thus, having quietly settled themselves down, and provided tor their o\vn comfort, they bethought themselves • •ft -.tifymi; their gratitude to the great and good 'or his protecting care in guiding them to this delectable abode. To this end they built a

i:id goodly chapel uithin the fort, which they • d to his iiuiiic; whereupon he immediately

the town of N, \v Amsterdam under his peculiar pain.nairc, and he has ever since been, and I devoutly

\\ill ever IH-, the tutelar saint of this excellent

I am. moreover, told that there is a little legendary ••where extant, written in Low Dutch, which

tu.it the imairv of this renowned saint, which whilom, graced the I, ,\v>|)rit of the Goede Vrouw, 'ed in front of this chapel, in the very centre ;at- '» ii"«l« ni died the Bowling-green.

the le-eI1(| further treats of divers miracles wrought by the mighty pipe which the saint held in hi> inoiitli ; a whitf of which \v;i> a sovereign cure for an ii]dip-ti.,n— an invaluuMe relic in thi- colony lirave treiiehenneii. As, however, in spite of the l|il:- h, I cannot lay my hand- upon this

94 HISTORY OF

little book, I must confess that I entertain considerable doubt on the subject.

Thus benignly fostered by the good St, Nicholas, the burghers of New Amsterdam beheld their settle- ment increase in magnitude and population, and soon become the metropolis of divers settlements, and an extensive territory. Already had the disastrous pride of colonies and dependencies, those banes of a sound- hearted empire, entered into their imaginations ; and Fort Aurania on the Hudson, Fort Nassau on the Delaware, and Fort Goede Hoep on the Connecticut river, seemed to be the darling offspring of the vene- rable council.* Thus prosperously, to all appearance, did the province of New Netherlands advance in power; and the early history of its metropolis pre- sents a fair page, unsullied by crime or calamity.

Hordes of painted savages still lurked about the tangled forests and rich bottoms of the unsettled part of the island; the hunter pitched his rude bower of skins and bark beside the rills that ran through the cool and shady glens, while here and there might be seen, on some sunny knoll, a group of Indian wig- wams, whose smoke rose above the neighbouring trees and floated in the transparent atmosphere. By degrees a mutual good-will had grown up between these wan-

* The province, about this time, extended on the north to Fort Aurania or Orange (now the city of Albany,) situated about 160 miles up the Hudson river. Indeed the province claimed quite to the river St. Lawrence; but this claim wasnot much insisted on at the time, as the country beyond Fort Aurania was a perfect wilderness. On the south the province reached to Fort Nassau, on the south river, since called the Delaware ; and on the east it extended to the Varshe (or fresh) river, now the Connecticut. On this last frontier was likewise erected a fort and trading- house, much about the